Broken Spell
by Zalini
Summary: Hermione's world is shattered to pieces as she and Ron go to Australia to retrieve her parents. Confused and in despair she unwittingly pushes Ron away while hiding a terrible personal secret. Broken-hearted, Ron puts his life in mortal peril without concern. Can they save one another or remain broken forever?
1. Chapter 1: Beautiful & Broken

_**AN:**__ This is a short novella spanning around 10-11 chapters and is actually a combination of two separate storylines that I had in the back of my mind sometime ago. Contains a lot more angst than I normally write but I promised myself to try and write one. It's fast and difficult in parts but it's all R/Hr. Hope you still enjoy it._

**Broken Spell**

**Chapter 1 - Beautiful & Broken **

The unfamiliar sound of waves crashing nearby woke Ron from his dreamy slumber. _Was he back at Shell Cottage? _He stirred slightly at the soothing sound and involuntarily relaxed at the feel of the soft bed and the luxurious sheets below his naked body. A cool breeze floated over his face and he smiled to himself as his body tingled to the gentle wisps of air passing over him. His eyes fluttered open and he immediately remembered where he was. More importantly, he immediately remembered who was lying next to him and his body seemed to suddenly come to life as a million different senses ran through him.

She was lying against his side, her head snuggled into his shoulder one hand over his stomach and one leg thrown over his. He could feel all of her against him and as he cleared his mind he became acutely aware of each part of her. The feel of her hair falling lightly against his shoulder and neck, her light breathing against his skin, the soft feel of her breasts against his side, the smooth feel of her stomach, the strangely arousing feel of her pubic hair against his bare hip, her inner thigh against his leg and her cold small toes rubbing against the fine hair on his shin.

As he became fully awake, he wondered if there could be anything better than waking up to the world with a naked Hermione Granger lying in bed next to him.

She stirred lightly against him and as he watched her beautiful face he marvelled at the change in their lives. Less than two months ago they were in a terrible and vicious war dodging death every second not knowing if a life ahead was possible. Now he was lying in a hotel bed along a beach in the Gold Coast of Australia with the woman he had loved since forever huddled next to him after making sweet and passionate love together for hours the night before.

He had lost a brother and the wizard world has lost many fine wizards and witches and was almost destroyed along the way...but they had won. They had picked themselves up and after a difficult first few days and weeks, his family and friends had continued to build back a normal life for themselves. Hermione and himself had become a real couple and eventual lovers as effortlessly and surely as the waves now washing against the shore outside his window. With the worst behind them and with Harry finally free of Voldemort, they had finally come together with all the love and hidden emotions held back for so many years. It should have surprised him but it felt like the most natural thing for them. They had always been together but just not always a couple...until now.

He was starting his Auror training with Harry in a week and Hermione was going back to school with Ginny to finish her final year in September. All that was left was to retrieve Hermione's parents and this was where they were now. They had used their connections to contact the Australian Ministry of Magic in Sydney and after a detailed search spanning over a week her parents had been located in a small suburb called Robina just outside of the Gold Coast. Arrangements had been made hurriedly and Ron and Hermione had been transported and put in the hands of the Australian Ministry. They had arrived the previous day and put up at a luxury hotel along the beach to rest and recover before being accompanied to "retrieve" her parents.

Hermione had her share of worry from the moment her parents were located. All her fears and doubts about reversing the complicated spells she had woven into their minds made her apprehensive and jittery. When Ron assured her of her capability and that her family would be reunited in a few days, her fears turned to the numerous negative reactions that she expected from her lost parents. He had tried his best to calm her fears and had steadfastly remained by her side as much as he could during the preparations and travel. It appeared that all his attentions had paid off as she visibly relaxed on reaching the hotel and it had culminated in a vigorous and hot session of lovemaking as soon as they retired to their bed. He still wasn't too sure if she was just releasing her pent up feelings about her parents or if she was genuinely glad to be here with him but he was not one to complain especially if he was the recipient of her attention.

He loved her with all of his heart. He was completely and utterly in love with the girl he had grown up with. He loved everything about her and he would do anything for her and ask for nothing in return. It was that simple. He lived in a state of ecstasy when he was with her and even though she had told him a hundred times, he could still not fully comprehend and believe that she loved him just as deeply in return. He was happy...they were happy...and after today she would be even happier with her parents in her life again.

He felt her move against his skin and turned to see her watching him with a small smile on her face.

"Morning sweetheart. Mmm...This bed feels great and you feel absolutely wonderful." she said with her smile as she rubbed up against him.

"I love it when you call me that...it makes me feel special and trust me I have been up for a full ten minutes and nothing feels better than you here next to me." he returned her smile as he leaned over to give her a kiss on her soft lips.

"You are special and I love you. Haven't I told you? and sweet and loving and supportive. Really Ron. I don't know what I would have done without you these last few days. I know I have been a bit of a mop lately but being with you makes everything better and I want you to know that. I just wish I could show you how much you mean to me." she told him lightly as she ran her fingers over his chest.

"Well I think you showed me enough last night love. But if you insist I can be dense at times so you can try again as much as you like." he smirked as a blush appeared on her cheeks.

She was now running her fingers lightly up and down his arm as she looked at him a bit seriously.

"Don't you ever wonder how things have changed so quickly Ron? I mean between...us. Is this really happening? I have to pinch myself sometimes." she said with a light laugh.

"I was thinking the same thing before you woke up. But it feels so easy and natural for me and I think it is the same way for you. I love you Hermione but that simple word can't really convey what I feel for you. I have you ingrained in me like a part of my body and mind and sometimes I just don't know how to tell you...how to let you know what you are to me." he tried to explain.

She sat up slightly her breasts brushing against him as she continued to stare at him.

"I love you too Ron Weasley and I know exactly how you feel because I feel the same way. Who knew you had a way with words." she laughed again as she now leaned over him to give him a long and sweet kiss before resting her chin on his chest. He had to look down at her.

"Hermione It's true. I never was good at words and if I was maybe we would have got together sooner... but not again. I have a plan for us." he informed her. She raised her eyebrows at him immediately.

"You do. Well you really are surprising me Weasley. Let's hear it then?" she asked with another smile.

"Well Harry and I will be going off for a year in training so I won't be earning a living till after. You will have completed your NEWTS by then and will then have to decide which job you will be taking out of the hundreds that will surely be offered to you. We can find a small place to live together...nothing too fancy as we will have to save up for the future you know. Then after awhile and when I have the guts to ask we get married in a beautiful ceremony at the Burrow. Then after maybe a few years of wedded bliss interspaced with our usual fights and my continued cluelessness we can get a bigger place and have a number of bushy red haired babies to fill our lives and live happily ever after." he stated coolly still looking down into her smiling face.

She was staring back with her eyes wide and now a bit watery.

"Oh Ron. That's the most romantic and wonderful plan I have ever heard. I love it. Especially the happily ever after part." she gushed. "So how many babies are in your plan? or do I get a say it that?" she giggled.

"As much as you want love but more than one for sure." he laughed. "I know you think I'm being presumptuous and thinking too far ahead but having a baby with you would be...the ultimate feeling of joy for me." he said a bit too seriously.

She now moved her body over his straddling him in one smooth swift move as he held her around her small waist then dropping his hands on her soft bum.

"I do think you are planning a bit too far ahead but it's the thought that counts but right now my thoughts are on other things." she informed him as her hands began to caress his body in return.

"What about you parents? Aren't you eager to get going?" he suddenly remembered.

"Everything will work out fine. You said so remember? Besides we have some time and I really need to relax. I'm just following your orders." her lips crashed down on his and he was immediately lost in her.

oOo

They were already dressed and waiting in the hotel lobby when the cultural liaison officer from the Ministry came to meet them. Michael Symonds was one of two people from the Ministry who was aware of the special circumstances of their trip and was very sympathetic to Hermione's dilemma. He had gone out of his way to welcome them and had made himself available at any time. He was a pleasant middle age wizard with a daughter of his own and seemed to fully understand the implications and possible outcomes of his mission today.

"Hello Ms. Granger and Mr. Weasley. I hoped you are well rested. We have quite a day ahead." he greeted them with a friendly smile. Hermione tried not to elicit a blush as she replied.

"Hello Mr. Symonds. Yes we had a good night and thank you for putting us up in this nice hotel. Please call us Hermione and Ron." she stated quickly. "How are we travelling to my parents?" she then asked a bit nervously.

"Well I thought that it would be a change to travel by car. Your parents are only about half an hour away and you can get a quick glance at the city along the way. Always doing my job I have to say." he laughed lightly. "Come on we can get going right away the car is just outside."

The three of them left the hotel and bundled into a black limousine parked outside. A young man dressed formally in a suit was already seated in the car.

"Let me introduce Steven Ward, He is an Auror assigned to us today just as a precaution you understand. The four of us will be handling matters today." he explained.

After the formal introductions were over, they were quickly on their way through the city with Mr. Symonds pointing out all the various landmarks and sites along the route. He was really a good choice for cultural officer and the two of them instantly warmed to him. Hermione seemed to actually be in a relaxed state considering what was about to happen.

They soon left the bustling city and were now travelling along a more residential suburb, Mr. Symonds turned to Hermione in a more serious tone.

"OK Ms. Granger...I mean Hermione. Your parents are currently at home alone as today is Sunday so all we have to do is simply knock on the front door and wait for one of them to answer. Do you want to go over the plan again?" he asked.

Hermione fidgeted a bit in her seat and Ron immediately held her hand gently in his. He felt her relax.

"Well I have to make sure that they are awake and together when I reverse the spell so a simply confundus spell on whoever answers the door should allow us to enter. Whoever is nearest will perform the same charm on the other parent once inside and then we sit them down together and I will perform the reverse memory spell as soon as possible." she recited clearly.

"Good. Your parents live in a quiet area in Robina so there should not be a problem. Mr. Ward will knock on the front door and get us in." he quickly looked at his watch. "We should be there in another five minutes. Don't worry Hermione. It will be just fine." he reassured her.

Ron glanced at his girlfriend and knew that she was getting nervous again. He tried to think of something to say that would take her mind away from her obvious thoughts.

"So Mr. Symonds what did you say her parents did in Australia again?" he asked even though he hoped Hermione would answer.

"Honestly Ron. Were you not listening yesterday. They run a small souvenir shop in the city." she sighed loudly.

"How come they did not open another mouth fixing business like back home? he genuinely enquired. He watched as Hermione rolled her eyes slightly.

"It's called a dental clinic Ron and I told you I could not take the chance to falsify they qualifications as someone could have checked and they might have been exposed. I had to alter that part of their memories too so they could start a new life here as quietly as possible." she explained.

Before he could comment, the car pulled up in front of a pretty bungalow with a well maintained front lawn. It was quiet in the neighbourhood and no one appeared to be around.

"Right. Let's get this done quickly." Mr. Symonds quickly opened the door and alighted with the Auror at his side.

Ron gently squeezed the small hand in his and smiled at Hermione.

"Come then love. Let's get back your Mum and Dad." he said sincerely as they followed the two men to the front door.

Auror Ward rang the doorbell and stood slightly back with his wand at his side. Soon the door was opened and a slim well tanned man with slightly greying hair stepped out and received them warmly. Hermione immediately stiffened in recognition at his side and he held on to her hand even tighter.

"Hello. Can I help you?" he asked in a friendly tone.

The Auror quickly raised his wand and muttered the confundus spell before pushing the man inside and signalling the rest to follow.

Mrs. Wilkins (aka Mrs. Granger) was just coming out of the kitchen when she nearly bumped into Mr. Symonds who quickly performed the confundus spell and lead her quickly into the living room area to be seated next to her husband. They both looked quite confused and were gaping at the four strangers silently.

Ron gently pushed Hermione forward when she made no effort to move. She was staring at her parents with a look of anguish and there were tears in her eyes.

"Hurry Hermione. You do not have much time. Just focus and relax. You can do it love." he told her quietly. She seemed to jump out of her trance and pulled out her wand resolutely. She made a step forward facing her parents and raised her wand.

The reverse memory charm that Hermione spoke was one of the longest spells Ron had ever heard. It amazed him that she could remember the string of words that she spoke so clearly and effortlessly. It was over in seconds and he waited while holding his breath.

Mr. Wilkins was the first to speak.

"Who are you young lady and what are these people doing in our house!"

oOo


	2. Chapter 2: Confused & Crushed

**Broken Spell**

**Chapter 2 - Confused & Crushed**

_"Who are you young lady and what are these people doing in our house!"_

Her worst nightmare had come through and she had fallen completely apart. Even the comforting presence of Ron at her side did nothing to soothe her as she sobbed into his shoulder. It had all gone horribly wrong.

When it became apparent that her memory reverse spell did not produce the desire effect she had nearly lost all her control. Auror Ward had performed a simply stunning spell on her parents while she struggled to regroup herself. Ron had instantly come to her side and desperately tried to calm her. After a few minutes they had tried again with the same result and that was when she had completely lost it. Mr. and Mrs. Wilkins had become incensed again at the strangers in their house and as the Auror performed a straightforward memory charm, Ron had pulled her of the house and dragged her into the car. She had been crying ever since.

They were now back at the hotel in their suite. She was in the bedroom sitting with Ron on the bed while Mr. Symonds was in the sitting area outside on the phone. Her world had tipped over and she had no clue how to fix it.

"It's all my fault." she sobbed. "I knew this would happen. That spell was too complicated for me to try in the first place. How am I going to fix this Ron? My parents will never be the same again...they will never know me again." she cried into his already soaked shirt.

Ron looked like he wanted to fall apart himself but he held her tightly and continued to try and soothe her with his quiet words of encouragement. She was also terrified that he would leave her side. He was due to return the day after tomorrow in readiness for his training and she could not hold him back. But now that her parents were stuck in their new identities she was lost. She had no idea what she would do. How was she to carry on with her life as if nothing had changed?

"Please Hermione we'll figure this out. It's not your fault I know that for sure. We just have to remain calm and find the best solution for you and your parents." he told her. "They are alive and that's a good thing for now right?" he tried to console her.

She knew he was mostly right. Even though they might never remember their former life or their only child, they were indeed alive and well, and she would always know their whereabouts. She finally started to calm herself but the guilt still ate her inside.

"It _is_ my fault Ron! I know it was something I had to do but I was the one to change them and I am the one who cannot change them back." she whimpered.

"It's not your fault! It was bloody Voldemort! That's who really caused this Hermione. Please don't beat yourself up about it. I know it's hard but we can get through this. We always have...and I will always be with you I promise." he said sternly as he squeezed her hands.

Her other fear rose in her throat and she returned his gentle squeeze. His hands felt so large in hers.

"But you have to leave soon and I don't want you to feel guilty for leaving me but I don't know if I can just leave them now Ron but..but...I'm not too sure if I could really carry on without you." she whispered softly as she looked at him.

She watched as he released one hand and roughly ran it through his hair as his face took on a strained expression.

"God Hermione I don't think I can leave you like this either with no one here who you really know. Look... what about if you return to the Burrow and clear your head for awhile. if...when you figure this thing out you can always return. Harry and I won't be there but at least you will be with people who care and love you." he reasoned. "Your parents are otherwise fine and there're not going anywhere. Plus you still have to prepare for school. You are not forgetting about that are you?"

As she studied his worried face and his genuine attempt to pacify and console her, she could only revel in her love for him. She was normally the steady one looking after him but this was different. He was being so solid and caring. She had always know what he could become for himself but now she was sure what he could become for her. She reached up to him and kissed him with deep longing and love that threatened to explode into something more heated.

A knock on the bedroom door pulled them apart in a hurry. The voice of Mr. Symonds called from behind.

"Erm...if I can have a word with you Hermione. I'll be waiting here outside."

She blushed at Ron and wondered what was going through his mind. From crying on his shoulder to pulling him into a heated snog. Merlin! What did he think of her.

They both sat together in the sitting room as Mr. Symonds addressed her from his seat across from them. Since leaving her parents house he had been busy making calls and sending messages. She waited silently for him to speak.

"Hermione...Have you ever heard of Embeth Ashworth?" he asked.

The question surprised her but her heartbeat speeded up immediately. She sifted through her brain to find the relevant information.

"Y...Yes. She is the famous Spell Builder who has been responsible for creating numerous spells that we take for granted today. We actually used her book at school in our sixth year. What does she have to do with my parents?" she asked hesitantly as he smiled at her.

"Well then you would also know that she is Australian and that she teaches part time at our wizard school just outside of Brisbane. She is one of my very good friends and I have asked her if she would be willing to review your case and talk to you. Trust me if there is anyone who can help you with this...unique situation, she is the one. I have already briefed her and she had readily agreed to see you...that is if you are willing." he eagerly enquired.

Hermione was a bit overwhelmed. Hope and expectation suddenly flooded through her. Ashworth was a world famous Spell Builder who normally worked very quietly to develop both simple and complicated spells which over the past two decades had been readily incorporated into the magical world. She was a brilliant theorist and teacher and as Mr. Symonds had said, there was no one better to help her...and she was here!

Even if she was to find out that her spell work was flawed, Hermione needed to know the mistakes she had made and what she needed to do to correct them and get her parents back. She was eager to begin.

"Can we see her today? Would that be too presumptuous?" she asked a bit daringly. Mr. Symonds laughed lightly in return.

"Yes we can see her Hermione. I told her you will be eager. She will be available after her classes when we can apparate and meet in her quarters." he informed her.

Hermione could not help herself. She jumped up from her seat and gave the surprised man a large hug.

"I don't know how to thank you enough Mr. Symonds. I really have been lost." she told him through fresh tears. He pulled away awkwardly before looking at her seriously.

"No promises Hermione. She has only agreed to review your work and to help and advise you. There are no guarantees that your parents will be able to be returned to you." he told her.

"I know Mr. Symonds. I can only hope but I am sincerely grateful for your help no matter the outcome." she replied.

"It is nothing. I can only guess what you going through Hermione and I hope everything works out for you. Well then, I will meet you both in the lobby at around 5:00pm and we can proceed from there. Get some rest and I will see you later." he bade them goodbye and left quickly.

Hermione automatically turned to the man by her side and buried herself in his willing arms. She felt a little light headed as she savoured the feel of his body against hers. Her mind was again moving along at rapid speed. She rubbed his arm as she rambled along.

"Oh Ron. I know I shouldn't get my hopes up but she really is a brilliant witch. Do you know she also works with Healers? and she created a lot of the diagnostic spells that are used now. It's even rumoured that she dabbles in some Dark Magic. You believe that? Do you think she will really review my spell?... Oh I have to get all my notes together...she would need to see them. I'm so glad you're here sweetheart." she pulled away at her last drabble and kissed him quickly before moving into the bedroom to gather her notes presumably.

Ron dropped warily into the sitting couch with a smile on his face. She was feeling better and he felt the load lighten from his chest. There was hope ahead. He would just have to spend an evening in the company of not one but two brilliant witches discussing spells and charms. Merlin help him survive!

oOo

The three landed softly in a well maintained open garden made bright with various flowery trees and plants. A very large building resembling an old colonial mansion lay in front of them. This was obviously the Brisbane Magical School. It was nothing like Hogwarts but it was impressive non-the-less. Mr. Symonds led them surprisingly away from the building and across the garden to a smaller building which was almost hidden among the trees. Hermione felt a sense of peace and tranquillity at once and she immediately warmed to the quaint structure set against the natural landscape. As they reached the open doorway, an old woman dressed in white robes greeted them before leading the way inside.

They were shown into a well lit study strewn with books and parchments. It resembled a small library and Hermione felt immediately at home. As they were seated around a small centre table she could not help herself but glance at the numerous books on the shelves with a longing to explore. She shook her head slightly as she brought herself back to the reason they were here. Her parents were lost to her and she needed help from the owner of these books.

The door opened suddenly and another woman entered wearing the same white robes elegantly draped over her slim frame. This was a strikingly pretty woman with soft features and eyes that shone with deep knowledge and intellect. She had short light coloured hair cropped closely to her neck without any adorning jewellery or makeup. She was younger than Hermione figured but she possessed an old and knowing way about her. The woman made her way over to the eldest man in the room.

"Michael! It's so good to see you. I have missed you and your family." she greeted him in a small hug.

"It's good to see you too Beth. I have been negligent in my visits but I promise to make it up to you." Mr. Symonds returned her greeting.

"May I introduce Ms. Hermione Granger and Mr. Ron Weasley from England. You may have heard of them I am sure." he introduced with a swish of his hand. Embeth Ashworth greeted them warmly.

"Indeed I have. I am honoured to meet you both. We are somewhat indebted to you for ending the war. God knows how worse it could have gotten and how far it would have reached if not for you two and Mr. Potter no less." she smiled warmly. Hermione blushed involuntarily as she shook the woman's hand.

"I am also honoured to meet you Ms. Ashworth and I am so grateful that you have considered to meet me at such short notice." she said nervously.

"Nonsense. Michael explained your situation to some degree and after what you did in the war and what you had to do to protect your parents I am truly glad if I can help in any way. Please sit." she gestured.

After they were made comfortable, a pot of tea was brought in and they soon settled down to the business at hand. Hermione instinctively moved closer to Ron and she felt him take her hand. She was ready.

"So Hermione, please tell me how you went about creating the spells to...protect your parents?" the Spell Builder began.

Hermione flinched a little at the words but took a deep breath to calm herself.

"Well after I made up my mind to protect them I decided to send them as far away from the war as possible. I knew I had to accomplish three things. Plant the idea for them to leave England and make a new life in Australia, remove myself from their memory and change their identities. The first two spells didn't take me long to work out as I did not have to alter or interfere with any memories...I just had to add new ideas and make them the dominant memories and to suppress some old ones without changing anything. It took me a while however to work out the last part...how to alter their memories to make new identities." she swallowed lightly before continuing.

"I couldn't make up completely new memories for their new identities. It would have taken too long and may have interfered with the first two spells. It really would have been too complicated..." Ron snorted at her side.

"Really? As if the first part wasn't complicated enough?" he smirked before shutting up under her glare.

"Anyway...I never set out to remove their memories...I never wanted that. I decided to keep all the existing memories of their lives but just alter their...perception of things along the way. Like their names of course and altering dental school to ordinary schooling and having a normal trading business instead of a dental clinic. Everything else would remain the same. The original memories are all still there...just sleeping dormant for want of a better explanation."

"The biggest problem I then faced was finding the right order to cast the three individual spells. It was not really straightforward if you think about it as they are all intertwined in a way. If I removed myself first then I would have had to remove all evidence of me from their lives and home while they were still there and then I would have to explain who I was to do the next spells. If I changed their identities first, I would have had to also change all their memories of me before removing them completely again...and if I planted the need to leave the country first I wasn't too sure if the spell would have been affected by the next two...There was only one way to proceed." she paused.

Ron and Mr. Symonds were now staring at her in wonder but the Spell Builder just gestured for her to continue.

"In the end...I decided to cast all the spells simultaneously in one bound spell. It was complicated but it all made sense to me. I checked and double checked everything before I did it. The reverse spell was intended to remove all the new memories that I planted and to...wake up the existing ones...but...but for some reason it hasn't worked...I did something wrong but I can't figure it out." she ended with a slight choke. Ron had moved closer as she spoke and her hand was resting with his in his lap. She looked up at the other woman with watery eyes.

"I have all my notes that I took as I was planning the spells if you want to take a look?" she asked hopefully as she drew out a small folder from her bag. The slim woman smiled and nodded before taking the notes from her hand. She paused for a few seconds.

"That was quite a description Hermione and I am genuinely impressed by your intuition and skill. Please tell me one thing? By all accounts to date, did the combined spell that you cast that day in England seem to work as you intended?" she asked sincerely.

Hermione nodded slightly before answering.

"Y...Yes. As far as I can tell. They immediately packed up everything including all the new paperwork and documents I had created and set out to Australia. I knocked on their door from the outside and when I came face to face with them, they had no...recollection of me." she stuttered a bit but continued.

"By all accounts they have settled here quite comfortably and have been leading normal lives quietly and easily according to Mr. Symonds. They seem to have no surprising side effects from my spell...other than...well...you know." she whispered the last part as she squeezed Ron's hand a little harder.

The Spell Builder frowned her brow slightly as if thinking over a problem in her head before settling back in her seat and looking directly at Hermione.

"Please have some tea while I look this over quickly. I can't promise you anything as I will need some time to properly study your notes but I will tell you my initial thoughts in a moment." she said before opening the folder and scanning the numerous parchments crammed with Hermione's neat writing.

Hermione never took her eyes off her the whole time. Ron had put a cup into her hands and she quietly drank it staring over the rim. The room was uncomfortably quiet except for the sound of parchment shuffling. She had no idea how much time had elapsed before the wise woman finally put aside the folder and leaned forward to face her. _Had she found anything? Had she made a fundamental error in her spell? _She unconsciously reached for the every ready hand next to her and waited.

"Tell me Hermione...how old are you?" she asked.

Hermione was caught off guard for a few seconds as the question took her by surprise.

"I...I'll be nineteen this coming September." she answered with a hint of surprise.

"And you performed this spell almost a full year ago...when you were just seventeen am I right?"

"Yes...but I did all the research over two months that summer...Is there...is there anything wrong that you can see? Please tell me." she asked timidly, fearful of the answer.

The woman let out a deep sigh and shook her head slightly before facing her again.

"Hermione this is just astonishing what you have done! This is one of the most complicated spells to plan and accomplish and apparently you have done just that by all reports. You are a truly gifted witch young lady. Your planning and execution appear flawless by my first glance." she told her openly.

"Nothing that we didn't know all the time." she heard Ron at her side and she rubbed his hand in gratitude. She should have felt a surge of pride at the Spell Builder's words but the obvious question loomed in front of her.

"T...thank you Mrs. Ashworth for your praise but...why can't I reverse the spell. Is there something that I am doing incorrectly?" she asked.

The woman sat up a bit as she frowned again to herself like before. She let out a small sigh before speaking. Her voice was soft but clear in the quiet study.

"Hermione you have to understand that what you did was serious magic. Even though you tried to keep all your parent's memories intact, you did in fact have to alter them a bit and that is the serious part. Everyday magic is wondrous and amazing but does not really involve altering people's minds per say. Even the confoundus spell is harmless as it just clouds the senses momentarily without any possibility of damage. That is why spells that involve tampering with the mind are either categorized as an unforgivable such as the imperious curse or worse...some form of dark magic. They are not allowed in the normal wizard world.."

Ron bolted upright next to her suddenly.

"Wait...are you saying that what Hermione did...to protect her parents could be deemed an illegal spell?" he choked out.

Hermione had always suspected that there was a fine line somewhere for what she had done but at the time she considered the risk worth taking. How else could she have done what she needed. She held Ron's arm to steady herself in order to verbalise these thoughts but the spell builder cut her off.

"I am not here to judge anyone or to make pronouncements on the legality of any spell. I just wanted to make a point I'm sorry." she apologized. "Please bear with me." she asked as she sighed again.

"As we all agree, the spell that Hermione cast worked as intended but that was the...the easier part to perform, relatively speaking. To reverse any spell where the mind is altered is ten times more difficult to get right for the simple reason being, that all the parties involved must essentially remain the same. The longer Hermione's parents are allowed to live in their new identities the harder it is to restore them as the new memories become more permanent. Similarly, if Hermione's state of mind has changed drastically due to extreme trauma or some other serious condition since casting the spell then it also becomes harder to cast the restoration spell." she paused in her explanation as both Ron and Hermione tensed up visibly.

Hermione glanced at Ron who returned her look in understanding before finally speaking.

"There was an incident before the end of the war. We were captured and I...I was tortured by the Cruciatus Curse for a few minutes. I...suffered terribly but we were rescued in time and thankfully there hasn't been any lasting negative signs from the curse on me. I have...and still to some extent suffer some dreadful nightmares about the incident but I don't think my mind has been affected to any large degree...or so I thought." she finished as Ron now put his arms around her waist.

Both of the other occupants in the room wore lesser expressions of anguish to Ron's but they seemed to recover gradually as the woman spoke again.

"I am truly sorry for what you had to go through Hermione. It only makes my admiration for you greater but from hearing you speak and from what I can gather about your present state I do not think it has been a factor in your inability to recover your parents. They have only been here for a year so I also believe that they have not had enough time to make enough permanent memories...it has to be something else." she reasoned with her little frown and it seemed she was talking aloud to herself.

"As I said, everything should be as it was when you performed the spell. The spell was successful...so the reverse should also work. The magic that you performed was specific and targeted. The essence of the spell had to flow through your mind and your wand and that is why only you can perform the reversal. Even your wand should be essentially the same...not damaged or..."

"Oh God NO! NO!

"Bloody fucking hell! "

Ron had suddenly gathered her in his arms and pulled her against him as he realised what had just been revealed. Her head was spinning and she felt herself going numb.

"Ron No! No! I will never get them back!" she whimpered into his chest.

As she clutched at him, she felt him raise his head and after a pause she heard him explain to the two astonished people over her shoulder.

"Hermione's wand as well as mine was lost in the war during the same time when...when we were captured. The ministry tried to locate them after but all efforts to find them proved futile. They believe Voldemort destroyed all the captured wands in his possession as they never found any..."

"...If what you say is correct I'm afraid without that wand...she will never be able to retrieve her parents...ever."

oOo

_**AN:**__ I know it's a bit sad and it gets worse but don't despair. Please keep reading. _


	3. Chapter 3: Decisions & Departure

**Chapter 3 - Decisions & Departing**

_"...If what you say is correct I'm afraid without that wand...she will never be able to retrieve her parents...ever."_

For the second time that day Ron watched his best friend, his lover and the most important person in his life crumble around him, and for the second time that day he felt like if a part of his inside had been ripped out as he tried his best to comfort her. He was never really good at this so he was going on pure instinct. Ever since the end of the war they had leaned on each other and their relationship had slowly evolved around their mutual need for each other and no one else. After all the grieving, after all the horrible funerals, he had finally started to feel that they were both on the way to a much brighter and care free future before setting off to Australia...just for Hermione to have her legs kicked and swiped out from under her. He was prepared to do anything to make things better for her but was at a lost to know exactly what to do given the seemingly hopeless circumstances that had unfolded this day.

He was also now very worried about her. He had know that she was chewing out her insides with the thought that she had somehow been responsible for the failure to restore her parents but how could she possible think so now. It was that bitch and that mad wizard who had come so close to destroying them. Losing her wand was not her fault and he had been trying to make her see that ever since they had found out.

He was worried because unlike earlier when she had completely broken down in tears at her parent's house, she was now silent and completely withdrawn. Yes she had initially cried into his chest as he had tried to soothe her but she quickly became quiet and easily let him lead her back to the hotel without a sound. Even when Ms. Ashworth had graciously consented to review her notes in detail and had invited them back the next day she had shown little interest. It was like she had lost all the life within her and he had no idea how to bring it back. If she was still like this when they returned to the Burrow, he was even considering asking for a deferment in starting his training. Hell...he deserved some special treatment after what they had all gone through and what they had achieved.

He shook his head gently and cleared his thoughts. Right now his priority was getting his friend settled into bed and making sure she had a good night's rest. They both had a long and eventful day and much needed sleep would surely help them to sort out this mess in the morning. He led her to the bed where she sat ever so quietly staring at the opposite wall with a blank expression on her face.

"Come on sweetheart. You need to get some sleep if we are to figure this out in the morning. It will be better I promise." he tried weakly. She turned to look at him but there was no verbal response. Her glassy eyes just stared at him.

"Here let me help you change...you can wear something of mine. I swear its clean." he laughed lightly trying to lighten the mood.

He bent on his knees and proceeded to remove her shoes then her jeans. She didn't complain and when he took off her top she silently moved her hand behind her back to unclasp her bra before removing it. No matter the situation Ron could not help staring a bit. Even with her unreadable expression, she was so beautiful to him just sitting there in her blue knickers looking at him in a way that made him want to hold her close to him forever. He gave her a brief smile before quickly grabbing one of his tee shirts and helped her into it. She was still looking at him as her head cleared the neckline. As he dropped the rest of the tee shirt around her small frame, he heard her whisper.

"You are all I have now Ron."

He felt another piece tear away inside of him as he held her hands.

"Don't say that..."

"I don't know what I would do if I lost you too. You're all I have left..."

"Hermione please..." her brown eyes were wide and watery as she continued to stare at him. More than ever now he had to be strong for her...to find some words to help her.

"Sweetheart...firstly...you will always have me. I love you and I am not going anywhere...but you also have Harry and Ginny...and all my family and all your friends from school. They all love you in their own way. You are not alone in this." he rubbed her hands gently with his.

She raised his hands in hers and brought it against her chest. He could feel the swell of her soft breasts against the back of his hand as he watched her.

"But only you can comfort me...only you can really make me feel better...you have always been able to...just by touching me sometimes." she half sighed softly. Part of him was glad that she was actually talking but another part registered the pain in her voice.

"Yeah but I have also been the only one to make you scream in frustration and to make you cry all the time..." he half joked with a small smile.

"That's true...but that's just because I've loved you for a very long time." she said quietly as his heart seemed to swell in his chest.

He moved forward on his knees and pulled her to him in a deep loving hug, his arms around her somehow trying to shield her away from all the pain and despair that hovered around them. He could feel her relax against him as she sighed quietly.

"I don't know when I became so...so dependent on having you around Ron. I hate myself for this but it's like I can't function properly if you're not around." she sighed below him.

"Hey Harry and I depended on you for years...still do I reckon...so you still have a lot of catching up to get even close to even." he chuckled into her hair. She finally pulled away slightly to raise her head to look at him.

"Still...I feel so selfish. We've come a long way together since the end of the war and now I can't seem to pull myself together for more than five minutes at a time. It's not fair to you." she shook her head slightly before resting it back against his chest.

"Hermione it's ok...you're not selfish. Nobody expects you to be strong at a time like this...it's your parents for Merlin's sake...you'll be ok...we'll be ok...it's just going to take some time." he told her sincerely. He hurried on before she protested. "Come on let's get you settled. You need to sleep."

He gently pulled her onto the bed dragging the warm sheets around them. She shifted her back against his chest as he held her around her waist, his fingers softly rubbing small circles on her stomach. She reached for his hand and pulled it closer around her. They remained quiet for a few minutes and he hoped that she had fallen asleep but he suddenly felt her squeeze his hand gently.

"I have it inside me you know...I know I do." she whispered into the dark.

"You have...what?"

"I can make you happy Ron...I know I can. I want everything in that plan of yours...remember the happily ever after one? I want it with only you...babies and all. I just have to get over this...this part somehow."

He dropped his head and kissed her neck lightly as he brought their clasped hands up between her breasts.

"You already make me happy love, and you will get over this. Then we can talk about our plan ok?" he kissed her neck again as he spoke. He felt her hesitate for a second.

"Ok. Goodnight Ron...I love you." she said sleepily.

"I love you too Hermione. Go to sleep...goodnight."

oOo

"Ron...wake up sweetheart...I have to go soon."

Ron awoke slowly as usual, waiting for his head to clear before seeing his girlfriend sitting on the bed fully dressed and apparently waiting for him to get up.

"Wha...why are you dressed already? What time is it?" he asked a bit sleepily and confused as he focused on her. She looked a bit drawn but loads better than the evening before. He finally sat up and shuffled over towards her.

"Good morning love. You look better. So where are we going again?" he yawned. She leaned forward to kiss him sweetly before answering.

"Mr. Symonds is coming anytime now to take me back to Ms. Ashworth. Remember she promised to look over my notes in detail? I know that nothing will change but I just want to be sure. It shouldn't take long and I never got the change to properly thank her yesterday anyway." she informed him.

"Don't you want me to come with you?" he asked with a worried expression on his face.

"I'll be fine Ron. I have to learn to face this without you...besides Auror Ward is meeting you here at 10:00 to take you to the Ministry to organize our portkey for tomorrow. You can catch a little more sleep if you want...and I've ordered up some breakfast for you already. " she gave him a small smile as she said the last words.

He reached out and held her hand as he returned her smile. He quickly figured out that she had obviously planned this out for him. She had wanted to go by herself and that in itself was a good sign but she also knew he would resist so she had covered her bases just in case. She really was a smart one.

"I would rather be with you but you drive a hard deal Ms. Granger. Extra sleep _and_ breakfast...how could I resist." he grinned before going serious again.

"I know you'll be fine Hermione...just don't expect...you know.." he hoped he wasn't coming off too protective. He felt her squeeze his hand gently.

"Don't worry Ron. I just want to thank her and maybe talk a bit. I need to do this by myself." she told him softly. Before he could formulate an answer, there was a knock on the outside door.

"That's Mr. Symonds. I have to go. I'll see you back here after we're both finished and we can go out and have some lunch maybe. Have a good morning." she gave him a quick hug and a kiss before standing. He gave a small wave with his best smile as she left the bedroom. He heard her small greeting and then the unmistakable sound of them apparating out.

He flopped back onto the bed feeling a bit anxious at first before shaking his head. She had made the effort and he would try his best to support her even if it meant sleeping a little longer and having breakfast brought to him. His grin faded as he thought of them returning home the next day. She had appeared better but he was leaving in a few days with Harry and the thought made his anxiety return. She was supposed to spend the next month with her parents before going off to school...but now he would have to leave her alone at the Burrow. Ginny and his parents would be there but would that be enough? The more he thought about it the more he felt that his first plan to defer his training might be the best thing to do. Actually sod it...he knew he would not be in any capable frame of mind to start if he left her alone. So it was decided...he was going to ask...beg if he had to...to defer his training until she went off to school. At least she would be distracted there with her schoolwork and some of their good friends would be there to help her.

After his deliberations, Ron lolled about in bed for another 30 minutes before his breakfast arrived. He had not slept but he felt a lot better for his recent decision. He took a long shower and was ready and waiting in the sitting area when the well dressed Auror from the day before arrived. They exchanged formal pleasantries before leaving for the Ministry.

As they headed to the Department of Transportation, Ron looked around him and marvelled at the modern look to the Ministry in comparison to the one at home. Glass windows and modern furniture adorned the building. The interior walls were also painted in bright bold colours and he guessed that it closely resembled what a typical modern muggle office would look like. Alighting on the fourth floor they made their way along a wide corridor, glass walls on either side before entering a large office lobby. He was asked to sit as the Auror knocked and then disappeared into an office. As he began to wonder what was happening the door burst open and a large man with a pleasant red faced greeted him warmly.

"Mr. Ronald Weasley! It is a pleasure and an honour to meet such a hero. Welcome to Australia! I am David Clarke, the Ministry of Magic and I will be personally escorting you to organize your transportation home. It's a pity Ms. Granger could not be here. We would have loved to see her." he greeted loudly.

Ron groaned inwardly. This was not what he needed at this time. He noticed the small group that was assembled around the Minister and quickly realized what was to transpire. He would have to put up with this publicity stunt in order to get his portkey organized. He had gone through dozens of them before right after the war and it looked like Australia was no different. He could not really complain...they had treated Hermione and himself well, putting them up at a luxury hotel and providing a full time escort. The least he could do was to suck up for an hour in order to secure his way home.

By the time all the fanfare was done and his portkey confirmed, it was well after midday. He was looking forward to having lunch with Hermione and he hoped that he would arrive back before her. After saying all his goodbyes he left Auror Ward and apparated straight back to his hotel room. He leaned against the inside of the door welcoming the quiet with closed eyes.

He sighed heavily opening his eyes and to his surprise immediately noticed her sitting quietly on the sitting room couch looking at him. He smiled as he walked forward to greet her.

"Hey you're here. You wouldn't believe what I had to go through to secure our transport. The bloody Minister of Magic himself made a huge thing out of it to get some mileage. I thought we had left that sort of thing behind at home but..."

She was sitting a bit rigid in the comfortable couch wringing her tiny hands in her lap staring at him funny. He saw her bite her lower lip and his stomach dropped. He rushed to sit next to her.

"Is everything ok love? Are you alright? I know I should have gone with you!" he started but she quickly grabbed both his hands to silence him.

"I...I'm fine Ron..." she told him unsteadily.

"Then...then what is it?" he was starting to get worried as she gripped his hands a bit tighter. She was definitely nervous as she was biting her lip again.

"Something has come up and I need you to listen...and to understand Ron." she said almost pleading a bit. "Please...just listen ok."

He was secretly glad that she was holding him because he had the sudden urge to flee the room. He was now so worried that all he could do was nod.

"Ok...firstly Ms. Ashworth did not find anything in my notes to help. I sort of knew that anyway so we just ended up talking. She suggested a number of ways that I can approach my particular problem in order to come up with a counter spell that might work without my wand. She really is a brilliant witch Ron. She even offered to...well...help me." she glanced up at him.

"That's good...isn't it?" he said nervously.

"Yes it is but...Ron...the thing is...she runs a separate class for a few gifted students in advanced spells and spell building and...she wants me to stay in Australia and join her class...just for a little while that is...and she will help me in my research to retrieve my parents..." she paused to sum him up with her wide brown eyes.

"How long is a little while?" he asked softly as he withdrew his hands to run them through his hair roughly. She shuffled closer to him determinedly.

"...three months at first...then I have a choice to stay until the end of the Christmas term." she answered quickly.

"God Hermione! Three months! What about school?" he croaked as his mind started to spin.

"I can go to regular NEWT classes at the school there. It should not be a problem when I return to Hogwarts I'm sure. I just have to inform the headmistress." she seemed to have all the answers already but his anguish rose to his head.

"But you won't know anyone here Hermione. You'll still be alone and...and what will happen if you get lonely or anxious...who will be here to help you...I...can't leave you alone." he cried helplessly.

She jumped forward to hold his flaying arms in an effort to calm him. She brought one of her hands up to brush his hair away from his forehead before gently stroking his cheeks. Her eyes were now watery.

"Please Ron listen. I love you more than you could ever know and I don't want to ever leave you but I have become so dependent on you these last few weeks and especially the last two days. I need to reassert myself for awhile. This is a good thing for us. You will be going off for training for a year and we won't be able to see each other for the first three months anyway. If I go back to the Burrow I would go crazy just sitting around without you and thinking of my parents. This way I get a real chance to find a way to help them and to keep myself busy while you are away...can you see that?" she asked expectantly.

"I was going to defer my training until you started school." he almost mumbled to her. Her eyes got even wider.

"I am not going to let you stay back because of me Ron! You should know that. I'll be fine. Between my schooling, special lessons and research I will not have any time to sulk around. You have had to worry about me for too long. I have been a horrible burden on you." she cried.

"No you haven't! It doesn't matter to me Hermione." he quickly asserted. She removed her hands from him and looked away.

"I have been...and now with what has happened it's worse. Now I am telling you that I want to stay here away from you and your family... I won't be surprised if...if you want nothing to do with me again." she finished in a whisper.

Ron was still reeling from her announcement. His first reaction was to shake some sense into her and drag her back home with him but what she had said all made proper sense in the end. She would be very busy doing her favourite things. Hell! who else would actually savour the thought of extra lessons and research, and she would get the best opportunity to help her parents. If there was a way she would find it he was sure. He knew he could not stop her.

"Ok." he said simply then heard a loud sob escape her.

"You want to...end it with me?" she cried as a large tear rolled down her cheek.

"What? No! I meant it's ok you can stay...even though we both know I can't change your mind when it's already made up. I'm just going to miss you like hell but it's best for you I know that." he grinned lightly.

She suddenly threw herself onto him dragging them both down onto the couch as she clung to him tightly.

"Oh Ron! I'm going to miss you too. I know I can do it but it's hard to imagine you not being here with me." her tears were now flowing but he sensed it was with a mixture of joy and regret. They fell into a heated session of snogging before she raised her head.

"I really am going to miss this. I want you to come here when you get your first leave and we can spend it right here in this same hotel...where no one can disturb us." she blushed lightly.

"It's a date love and yes...I am going to miss this also. I have gotten a bit addicted to you whether you like it or not." he laughed.

She stood up suddenly pulling him up with her a grin forming on her face.

"Well we have the whole evening and the night for you to satisfy your addiction. I don't want to waste a minute of it." she blushed again as she led him to the bedroom. He stopped her at the door.

"It's only for three months right and I guess it doesn't change our plan does it?" he enquired tentatively.

The smile on her face answered all his questions.

"No it doesn't Ron Weasley. We stick to the plan...the happily ever after one." she laughed as she dragged him inside the room.

oOo

_**AN**__: A happy ending of sorts but things never work according to plan do they?_


	4. Chapter 4: Away & Alarm

**AN: **_First off I have no real good excuse for my long absence other than work and travel and laziness on my part. That's the bare truth and I admit it. I continued to read but just couldn't find the will to write. A real block if you ever saw one. Anyhow I can assure you that this story will be completed and that I am back to my earlier self. I apologize to everyone who started to read this story especially as they will now have to read over the first three chapters to remember anything. I hope I will make it worthwhile. This is a long filler chapter that leads onto the good stuff. Sorry again and thanks for your continued support._

**Chapter 4 - Away & Alarm**

Ron threw himself heavily onto his hard bunk bed, landing on his back with a loud groan. He felt exhausted beyond his meagre eighteen year old body. Today had been a long day of training just like all the other days before...all two and a half months of them. Without looking up he heard Harry crash onto his own bed across the room and he smirked to himself surprisingly. This is what they has signed up for and there was no use in complaining. This was the path his life had taken...next to his best friend and in the middle of all that could be deemed dangerous and risky. He closed his eyes and let his lanky frame relax into the firm bed. He was exhausted but satisfied...he was holding his own and was even managing to surprised himself sometimes.

The Auror Department was re-organizing itself quickly after the war. Severely depleted and in desperate need of new recruits, the new head Auror in conjunction with the recently appointed Minister of Magic were implementing a new training programme geared to release the first batch of Graduate Aurors in a record eighteen months, a full six months ahead of normal time. However, in order not to dilute the quality of the famed department, the training schedule was brutal and unforgiving. There was no time for the department to relax...there were still a lot of pissed off death eaters, opportunists and deranged wizards in the magical world that needed to be rounded up and put away and there were still an awful lot of good and decent people that needed protection.

The last two and a half months has passed in a blur. Up at six o clock...two hours of non wand exercises, sprints, middle and long distance runs, drills and weight training...breakfast at eight o clock...three-four hours of theoretical classes including investigative procedures, combat and arrest procedures, offensive and defensive manoeuvres, stealth and concealment, protection, healing and spells...lunch at twelve o clock...three hours of field training including hand to hand combat, wand combat, special spell work, containment and crime scene work...break at four o clock...minimum of two hours on actual assignment with experienced Aurors in the field or in the office. This schedule was to continue for a full fourteen months Monday to Friday with Saturday and Sundays to be used for extra revision and exams which were to be held at regular intervals. A full weekend break was to be granted every three months until the end of training. Trainee Aurors were then assigned full time in the field under supervision for four months before graduating...brutal and unforgiving.

Yes the training was hard but after two and a half months he could feel satisfied with himself. Whether it was due to his long legs and lanky frame, years of Quidditch or his newfound drive, he was easily the fastest runner on the training courses. He currently held the record for the half mile and the mile runs as well as some of the shorter sprints. He was not as good as Harry in wand combat and spell work but he was close to the top of the class. For the first time in his life he was putting in the work and he was seeing the results. Hermione would have been proud to see him actually taking copious notes and studying in his spare time. She had always told him he was capable and he often found himself talking to her in his head as he plodded through the work. She was always with him...helping him on, encouraging him and soothing his exhaustion after a long day. She was always there at the back of his mind when he needed her. She had always been there for him and now was no exception...except for the annoying fact that now she was not really physically here with him.

Two and a half months without her and he had actually survived! That itself was his most remarkable achievement. The trainees were only allowed one day of mail every Friday and it seemed like his whole week was only really complete as he greedily read through her words to him as he lay on his hard bunk bed. As was expected, she wrote a note to him almost every day before sending them all on the Thursday so he always had a continuous rundown of her life in Australia from the week before to catch up on. God he missed her with every tired muscle of his body! He would never had made it this far without hearing from her. They had been together for so long but only _really _together as a couple recently...but now she was miles away without him and it hurt on so many levels that sometimes he was glad for the exhaustion to numb his feelings.

Still...it could never be the same when she was only a few moments away and while he tried to be strong and understanding, he frequently doubted himself. She had made a few friends in the special spell class with Ms. Ashworth and she sounded genuinely happy and fulfilled to be learning so many new things to fill up that never ending space in her head. She missed him for sure...she said it at the end of every note but he wondered...as only Ron Weasley could wonder...to what extent? She had wanted to reassert herself and from all appearances she was doing a good job of it. He had only gotten a trace of frustration in her last few letters as she had not yet come closer to solving the problem of recovering her parents memories...but she sounded resolute and he had tried to give her all the encouragement he could without sounding like a lovesick prat crying for the return of his girlfriend. Still it niggled him...she missed him but now that she was immersed in her work, did she really need him? Would she ever want to return now that she was doing something she loved? Was her love for him still as encompassing as his own for her?

He sighed loudly. Two weeks! He would see her again in two weeks and all would be well again. He could not fathom anything less. As he closed his eyes to the heavy drag of sleep, the heavy door of their quarters was flung open with a loud bang and he shot up quickly to see their evening supervisor Auror Stevens striding to the centre of the room.

"OK Listen up recruits! There has been an...incident of sorts at a wizard drinking establishment in London. All recruits are to report to the main training room in five minutes for briefing before we leave to the scene. Come on! Get you arses off your beds and move!

Ron quickly glanced at Harry who gave him a small shrug before they both stood and headed out the door.

**o0o**

Hermione made her way slowly along the still unfamiliar path to Ms. Ashworth's office. She had already shed her robes and uniform for the day and was glad for the cool relief. Even though the robes were lighter than the ones at Hogwarts, she still had not gotten used to the hot and humid climate and she felt a lot more comfortable in her jeans and cool blouse top. To be honest, it was not just the clothing or the hot weather that bothered her these days. It was a culmination of everything or _nothing_ depending on how she looked at it.

It had been hard at the beginning being by herself, but it had also been exhilarating. The first month with Ms. Ashworth and the small group that she had picked was fresh and exciting. She had learned so much in that short time...things she never knew she could do and achieve with just the right teacher. Between her special classes and her research she had forged ahead diligently with a sense of purpose and she was able for the most part to shrug off her fears and her sense of loss. All she had to do was concentrate on her work and try to forget everything else.

When the school term started there was the added distraction of classes and of course the fact that she was the new girl around...and not only new but somewhat well know to her surprise. She quickly learned to withdraw from all the curious glances and whispers and slowly fell into a quiet routine that suited her. Classes in the morning and early afternoons...two hours of research after classes...special lessons in the evenings and more research and homework until time for bed where she would write to Ron before falling asleep. It was a routine she savoured and it worked for the next month.

The special class of spell builders chosen by Ms. Ashworth consisted of only five students. Besides herself there was a pair of brother and sister twins, Erin and Eric Ross who were close siblings as all twins tended to be and just happened to be the friendliest and warmest people she knew in the school. Tara West was the other girl in the group and unfortunately reminded her of another shapely pretty blonde who she was well rid of at Hogwarts. The big difference was that this one was very bright and very ambitious and soon made it clear that no new girl...even a somewhat famous one was going to outshine her. No open rivalry was allowed in front of Ms. Ashworth but Hermione had nothing to prove so she stayed as far away from the watchful girl as possible and left her alone for the most part. The second male was Andrew Grant who was just as pompous and egocentric as Tara but hid it behind a false facade of prim and proper friendliness. She actually wondered if she might have turned out to be a female version of Andrew if her life had not taken a very sharp turn in her first year with two wayward boys.

She shared a room with the two girls in the group but stuck to Erin and Eric as her only close friends the rare times she was not on her busy schedule. She had briefly mentioned Eric in her letters to Ron bearing in mind his jealous streak but it was done with a sad smile on her face. Yes he was good looking, tall and tanned and had a bright friendly smile but it was also obvious he was smitten with the seemingly unattainable blonde in the group. It was also hard for her to really look at Eric because when she did, his tanned unblemished smooth skin always brought to mind the opposite colour and texture she adored on the man she missed every moment of her waking day. No pale skin and no freckles to tempt her. No Ron next to her.

She missed him like crazy! And it had gotten worse with time. She tried to shut him out with work but while it had eased the pain in the beginning, the longer she was here the pain in her heart gradually began to build over the weeks until she felt numb. She had tackled her research in high expectation but had not been able to find a single suitable solution to restoring her parent's memories. Despite all the guidance from her teacher, she had not found one tangible way forward...not even one that she could risk again in front of them. She had made up her mind that she was not going to risk another failure until she had something solid enough to go on. But so far she had nothing. Nothing...and no Ron beside her.

She had taken her first free weekend out of the school to go into town and observe the little souvenir shop that they ran. She sat in the early light of the morning as the heat built up over the city streets and saw her parents open the shop, cleaning the windows and fixing the displays. She sat on a small bench on the other side of the street and watched as people came and left the shop. She was even tempted to go into the shop but resisted as her memory of the frantic shouting in their comfortable living room overcame her. The second time just last weekend she had seen a young girl who she presumed they had hired to help with the busy season smile and hug her parents as they opened the shop. She had sobbed her eyes out on the little bench and wished upon everything she knew that Ron could be there with her. She did not know how she was going to make it here without him and she was lost.

Ron was never a good letter writer and she never expected much but she was always surprised and hugely fulfilled when she would receive regular weekly letters from him. Granted some were short and mainly consisted of two line paragraphs but over the last few weeks she had come to realise that he was really achieving his dreams of being a good Auror. He was doing well in his training and he sounded proud of himself the way she always wished for him. She had always believed in him and felt bitter with herself that she had not always said it out aloud enough to him. He often thanked her in his letters for helping him but she knew it was mainly his own achievements and she was also proud of him. But...did he really need her again? Did he miss her half as much as she did him? Now that he could see that he was fully capable and able...would he really need her again? She was such a burden on him when she left...Oh God! She left him! Not in the real sense but she had chosen to remain and put all this space between them. What had he really thought about her? Was he better off without her and all her troubles?

As she neared the office corridor she shook her head clear to quell the tears that threatened to spill out..

_Pull yourself together Hermione! He loves you. He would never stop loving you. He misses you. He said so a hundred times in his wonderful little letters. You are not a burden. You are his life and we have a plan to follow. One that entails jobs side by side, a cosy apartment, shiny sparking rings, white gowns and little beautiful babies. He deserves it. They deserved it. And she would do her damned best to play her part ever so willingly._

She was so lost in her thoughts that she almost ran into the twins who apparently had just come out of the same office she was heading for. They smiled softly together as they paused in front of the office door.

"Hey Hermione. Beth's expecting you." Erin grinned at her. "The next few weeks are going to be really exciting I tell you." she beamed at her.

"Will you stop calling her that Erin. She's our teacher after all." Hermione lightly admonished. "And what about the next few weeks will be any different?" she inquired suddenly interested.

Eric leaned over his siblings shoulder but with a less happy face.

"You will find out soon Hermione. Erin here is excited out of her knickers but I am a bit...apprehensive to say the least...and I still am not sure why we have to do a bloody medical. I hate people messing around with me." he said with a slight scowl now.

"Hush Eric. Let Beth...Ms. Ashworth tell her. Come on we will talk together after. See you later Hermione." Erin grinned again as she headed down the corridor.

Now intrigued as ever, Hermione reached out to knock on the door when Eric stopped her with a slight touch on her arm.

"Hermione...Erm...Can I ask you something?" he asked quickly glancing at his sister down the corridor.

"Sure Eric. What is it?" she replied with a puzzled look.

"Well...I can't really ask Erin about these...type of things. So I just wanted to pass something by you...you know...you may have a bit more experience than...well...anyone else I know...since you and Ron are...you know...together." his hands were in his pockets now and he looked a bit flushed even under his tanned face.

Hermione suddenly had a feeling she knew what this was about and she sighed softly.

"It's about Tara isn't it?" she said with a smile. Eric's head snapped up suddenly.

"How did...you know? he stammered a bit.

"Just tell me what this is about Eric. I have to get inside the office at some time." she smirked.

"OK...OK. Look I just wanted to know if it was a good idea to...you know...ask her out next weekend. Do you think she even likes me? It's a bad idea isn't it? What do you think Hermione? I know you don't like her but she's not that bad and I...so what do you think?" he begged. Hermione relaxed her shoulders with another soft sigh.

"It's not that I don't like her, she just reminds me of someone a bit. Look Eric you will never know how she really feels unless you talk to her at least. Ron and I wasted a lot of good together time because of the same silliness. Just tell her that you like her and what you like about her...not in a shallow way obviously and take it from there. If she's interested then good but don't make it the end of the world if she blows you off. You are certainly a decent boy and you have plenty of time for her to get to notice you...so go and let me get on with this." she laughed.

Eric gave her a genuine smile as he backed away.

"Thanks Hermione. I guess I have some talking to do." he laughed in return before turning and dashing off behind his sister.

Hermione finally knocked and entered the office with a shake of her head and another rare smile on her face. At least one of her friends had something to look forward to.

Embeth Ashworth's office was not the typical teachers room Hermione was accustomed to. It was sunlit, tidy and sparse with a comfortable sitting area that contained a small library. It reflected the teacher's private dwelling quarters where she had initially met the famous spell builder and she always felt comfortable to meet with her mentor here. The slim petit teacher greeted her warmly and led her to the sitting room where they sat opposite each other in soft comfortable armchairs.

Hermione was still intrigued with the previous conversation with the twins but she resisted the urge to ask prematurely. She waited patiently until the older woman began.

"Thanks for coming Hermione, how is your schoolwork coming along?" she asked politely. "I hope our evening sessions have not made it too hard for you."

"Not at all Ms. Ashworth. You know I enjoy your lessons and I have always worked hard to keep up my grades." she answered quickly knowing that this was just polite conversation as she waited again.

The small woman nodded and leaned back into her chair and looked at her with a more serious face.

"And your research?" she asked simply.

Whatever little patience Hermione was harbouring disappeared in an instant at this little question. She sat up suddenly and launched into her answer.

"I have gotten nowhere Ms. Ashworth. I have spent hours and hours researching and reading and thinking and I have found nothing to help me and my parents. I have followed all your advice but it is becoming so frustrating for me by the day. I am a bit stubborn by nature and I can get somewhat stuck in when I have a challenge especially one as important as this. Ron would always say..." she stuttered a bit but continued on unchallenged as she caught herself.

"I seldom give up on a task as you might know but I am at my wits end in coming any closer to finding a way forward in this. I do enjoy your lessons and the school is ok but I came here primarily to find a way to retrieve my parent's memories but it feels like I have hit a stone wall and to be honest I do not know how much longer I can stay. Plus it's not easy being away from home...well actually...not so much home as...I just miss Ron and my friends desperately." she ended with a slight catch in her throat and tears in her eyes.

The kind spell builder leaned forward again and took one of her hands in hers.

"Hermione...sometimes I forget what you have gone through and what you have accomplished in your young life. I know it has not been easy here away from all that you are familiar with but you are a remarkable woman and that is why I chose you to be here with me. I think we can safely acknowledge that there is no straight forward way to solve your problem. If there was you would have found it by now I can be sure of that. But that is why I have asked to see you today..." she again leaned back dropping her hands.

Hermione waited again as she held her breath. Was there another way? A not so straight forward way?

"I am sure you are somewhat aware that I have practiced some dark magic in the past. It is true. I have studied dark magic extensively and on occasion I have brought myself to actually practice it under very strict controlled conditions. We can only learn to defeat those who use this magic unscrupulously by studying and learning its effects and how to counter and control this evil form of magic. It is not for everyone to try and not everyone is able to study this Hermione." she paused to let this sink in.

Hermione's head was whirling. Was she saying that she was willing to teach the group some forms of dark magic? Wait...Oh God!...was this the other way to solve her problem? It was a question that instantly boggled her mind. Could she use dark magic to bring back her parents memories? Could she risk that? She could only stare at the woman across from her in anticipation.

"Hermione...there is a reason why our group is so small. It is very difficult to find witches and wizards who possess the skills and the learning ability to perform these complicated spells that you have been learning. But more than that, there is something extra that they must possess. I know you find Miss West and Mr. Grant a bit tedious but they have been chosen along with the twins because they also possess a deep rooted conviction and internal belief in what is good and right as opposed to what is evil and bad. Without that they will not be able to achieve what I plan to teach them in the end. You also have all the attributes Hermione. That is why you are here." she finished strongly.

"Are you planning to teach us dark magic or some form of it?" she asked with a lump in her throat.

The spell builder nodded slightly again before continuing.

"Not anything practical in the beginning but you will be starting some studies in this area of magic. You will have limited access to some of the darkest material you will ever read and you will be studying some spells in time under my supervision. I take this very serious Hermione and that is why you have to decide on your own if you wish to continue. It is not something you can take lightly. It will affect you in some way and that is why only you can make this commitment." the woman paused here but eventually continued.

"I should not be prodding you but just maybe you might find a way around your peculiar problem in your new studies. There is no guarantee you will find anything and even if you did there may be too much risk attached to it...but you said you never give up..." she ended knowingly.

Hermione felt a light pounding inside her head. This was huge. This was life changing. Could she possibly commit herself to this type of learning, studying and practice. Was she capable of this. Somewhere deep down she knew her answer was a resounding no...but...the possibility of getting her parents back loomed at the front of her mind. Was it worth it? Suddenly she realized that this was not a decision she could make on her own. She would have to consult the only two people she trusted with her life.

"Can I take some time to consider this Ms. Ashworth? I need to speak to a few people first." she requested.

"Of course. By all means. As I said I take this very seriously and I expect you to do the same. You will have to take a full medical examination before I even consider you further anyway. Dark magic has a way of affected the mind and body in ways we cannot always explain and that is why I insist on the medical to ensure that you are capable to withstand what you may experience in your studies. It is just a precaution but I insist on it. You can make up your mind after the exam." she explained as she stood up.

"Thank you Ms. Ashworth. I promise I will consider this with the utmost seriousness before I decide." Hermione stood up now with the small woman before leaving the office her mind twirling away.

Ron was meeting her in two weeks. She would speak with him and get his views. She could even ask Harry to come. She winched at the thought of not having Ron alone with her but she needed both of them to talk to.

Heading back to her room, she decided to do some new research later that night. Being who she was, she wanted to have as much facts at hand before making any decision which could affect her future, especially her future with the man she loved.

**o0o**

Ron and Harry paced up and down the front of the small drinking establishment checking and rechecking all the enchantments that were put up to prevent any unwanted access and to keep the crime scene as clean as possible. They had apparated to the site with the squad of recruits and the other senior Aurors and were put on duty outside. Various Aurors, Healers and other officials that they did not recognize came and left with always a horrifying look on their faces on the way out. Ron was biting at the chops to take a peek inside but Harry had to continuously control him.

"Wait Ron, we are not allowed in there as yet. Come on. Get back into position! We are only trainees remember?" he stated with a bit of exasperation.

"I know. I know, but don't you find it curious that everyone who has left seems either totally horrified or perplexed in some way? What the hell happened in there you think?" he asked as he tried to peek through the front door.

"I don't know but by the likes of it, it was not good." he agreed.

"Well I would think we would have something else to do but to stand her like some stupid guards. I mean how are we to learn if we can't even get to see anything." he scowled.

Just as Harry was about to reply in agreement no doubt, the door flung open and Auror Stevens popped his head halfway outside.

"Potter and Weasley! Get some replacements to take your place and come inside after. We need to speak to you. Hurry!" he barked before shutting the door again.

Harry quickly rounded up two new recruits before Ron grabbed his arm and dragged him inside the pub.

They quickly adjusted to the darkness before looking around at the various tables and benches laid out over the open room. What lay before them was nothing they had expected. Horrified and perplexed were not even the correct words to describe what they could see.

Not a drop of blood...no destruction. Not a table unturned. No sign of disturbance. But it was...horrifying.

The place was obviously crowded with patrons when it happened. Every person in the small pub was still seated or standing in the same spot when they had died. Everyone was intact but everyone had died with their mouths open wider than Ron though possible, eyes bulging from the sockets. It looked like a scene from a sick horror movie.

Head Auror Roberts quickly drew Ron and Harry aside breaking them from their initial shock to consult with Auror Stevens and the Minister of Magic Kingsley Shacklebolt. It was Kingsley who asked the first question.

"Good to see you Harry and Ron even though this is not the best of places to be greeting you. We found this place three hours ago exactly as you see it. Thirty-six people in all. All dead...like their life was suddenly sucked out of them. Nothing disturbed. It looks like it just simply happened suddenly. There was a fresh char mark on one of the central tables and we are checking it out but it could be anything. Preliminary examination by the healers reveal that each person's brain has been...well...fried for want of a better word. I know you two have been chasing after Voldemort over the last year and a half and we just wondered if you ever came across anything like this.

Ron quickly shook his head in the negative and glanced at Harry who was still staring into the room with a faraway look in his eyes.

"I saw this once in his head Ron...Voldemort...Early on when I couldn't really control it. Well something like this. It was just a glance inside but he was planning something like this. I never thought about it again." he sounded in a trance as he turned to the Minister.

"Someone was helping him with this. Someone who is obviously still at large. It's a bomb Kingsley. The worst kind. It's like a muggle bomb but infused with really dark magic. And it looks like they have perfected it." he spoke quickly.

"This was a test. A small test. A mind bomb. That's what I heard them call it. God help us if they have more or ones that are larger!"

o0o


	5. Chapter 5: Scars and Secrets

**Chapter 5 - Scars & Secrets**

Hermione sat on the side of the bed waiting for the Healer. She barely registered the fact that the room was stark white and smelled of a mixture of cleansing potions and starchy bed-sheets. She had gone through so many different medicals since the end of the war that she had no feeling one way or the other for this one. Her mind was already far away... lost in thought as she ignored her surroundings and settled her mind on what was troubling her.

For the first time since she has stayed behind in Australia, Ron had not sent her a letter. Not even a short hastily scribbled one and she was thrown.

She had added a hurriedly drafted paragraph of her recent conversation with Ms. Ashworth to her last letter two days ago before sending her stack of parchments off to reach him on Friday as usual. Just enough information to start a serious discussion when he saw her next as she didn't want to worry him unnecessarily but...today was Sunday and he had not sent anything in reply this morning as he always did. She knew the mail was delivered directly to the school by portkey so she should have received his mail...unless...

He first reaction was that something was wrong with him or he was hurt and she had slightly panicked at the thought, breaking into a sweat and ready to rush back home. Then she surmised that if something was really wrong, she would have been notified before. She settled after into more rational thought and quickly gathered that he was probably out on training and had not been able to catch his mail on time. That certainly made more sense and she tried to accept her reason. She was in the midst of pushing away another unsettling scenario when the door swung open and a tall fair skinned woman entered carrying a tray with various coloured potions in one hand and a chart in the other.

"Ah Hermione is it? My name is Carissa Stewart and I am the specialist Healer working with Ms. Ashworth just for these medicals. I know she explained the reasons for it so no need for me to waste time." she said briskly before handing her one of the potions from the tray.

"Please drink all of this and then lie on the bed as I start my examination. You just have to keep still." she explained in a friendly voice.

Hermione quickly drank the tasteless liquid before lying down on the hard bed and staring up into the bright light above her head. The tall Healer pulled her wand from one of her white coat pockets and slowly began her examination.

As she stared at the light, the dreaded thoughts at the back of her mind again returned to her... Maybe he was just not interested enough to write her again when he was with his friends and fellow trainees doing what he loved and doing so well for once. Maybe he was so sick of her problems and her pending decisions that he had decided to give her a rest. She felt somewhere deep within that this sort of thinking was probably just her reaction to her loneliness but she just couldn't help herself. Surely he could have sent her something...anything. She heard the Healer cough and she blinked at her in surprise.

"Hermione you seem far way but that's good. You are relaxed. Here drink this last potion and we will do this one more time." she requested.

She again drank the next liquid offered to her and lay back again on the bed, this time closing her eyes to the light.

She had gotten so used to his letters no matter how brief they were. She relied on this one connection from him to keep her going and yet at the same time she still hated her dependency on him and the ugly thoughts that took over her rational brain at times like this. She shook her head internally. No. He was just busy in training and he would let her know soon when he was coming. She would soon see him again and they would decide what was best for them. It would always be them she consoled herself.

She was so consumed in her thoughts and with her eyes closed, she failed to notice that the Healer had repeatedly been checking her lower body with a heavy frown on her face as she continuously passed her wand over and over her stomach region . As she opened her eyes, the woman finished scribbling on her chart and turned to her with a look of concern on her face.

"Ms. Ashworth briefed me as to your history and I know you have been subjected to the Cruciatus during the war. Do you suffer from any random pain anywhere especially in your lower torso?" she asked gently.

Hermione was now a little apprehensive but she answered truthfully.

"No. Not since a while after the war. I had a lot of bruises and cuts but they all healed within a few weeks. I have been physically fine since. I...I still suffer from some nightmares but even that has been getting better. I have been checked out by numerous other Healers and they have all said everything was normal. Is there a problem Healer Stewart? " she asked hesitantly.

The tall woman turned away to check on her notes before speaking again a bit hurriedly.

"You are completely healthy Hermione. Nothing is going to happen to you I assure you. Just rest here for another ten minutes. However as soon as you are dressed please come to Ms. Ashworth's office and we will speak again. Do not worry yourself...just rest for a while before you get off the bed. I will see you soon." the Healer gave her a little smile before quickly leaving the room.

All of her previous thoughts of Ron and her apprehension were now lost in the memory of concern on the Healers face. She waited with bated breath for the full ten minutes before sitting up and getting dressed. She never even gave the small room a second glance as she quickly slipped out of the hospital wing and proceeded to the office where she was always comfortably and at ease.

As she entered the now familiar office, the slight teacher rose to greet her before proceeding into the sitting area. Healer Stewart was already seated having a cup of tea and she also greeted Hermione with a courteous nod. After refusing the offer of tea herself she settled into her seat and faced the two women apprehensively. Whatever it was they had to say she wanted it to be quick so that she could get back to her room and deal with her other pressing issue. Ms. Ashworth cleared her throat suddenly and leaned towards her with a look on her face that Hermione could have sworn had a hint of slight pity.

"Hermione...you have met Healer Stewart this morning in your examination and you are aware what the medical was about." she paused for a moment to gather herself. "There is something that we need to tell you...something we have found but I need to ask you a few questions first. Please bear with me. It is not easy but I will try to explain..."

Hermione sat up at her words but could only nod in understanding as her stomach suddenly felt sick.

"Hermione...when did you last have a menstrual period?" the teacher asked suddenly.

She was taken by complete surprise by the question as it was the last thing she expected. Other than her mother and Madam Pomfrey she never had the luxury of discussing these intimate things in detail with anyone else.

"When...what? Sorry I'm a bit confused." she stammered out. The spell builder tried again gently.

"Hermione I know this might sound confusing but please try your best to answer the questions. We have to confirm some things first. Please try." she asked again. Nodding slightly, Hermione gathered herself somewhat to reply as clearly as possible.

"Well...I have always had an irregular cycle...ever since. My Mum even wanted me to go on some muggle contraception pills about two years ago but I resisted." she began to answer as her ears flushed pink.

"When we were on the run last year...it got even worse. At times I would miss months at a time. I always presumed it was the added stress and the lack of proper nutrition. By the time of the final battle I guess...well...I stopped having them altogether. Madam Pomfrey examined me in Hogwarts and she confirmed my suspicions. The Healers at St. Mungo also said that it was a normal reaction to...what I had gone through and that I should expect everything to return to normal in a short while." she closed her eyes trying to remember something.

This time it was the Healer that spoke.

"Hermione you have to remember...when was the last time you had your period?" she asked in earnest.

Hermione slowly opened her eyes with a look of surprise on her face.

"It was in March...I remember...it was Rons birthday. Right before we were...captured. God! I can't believe it has been so long ago...what is it?...five or six months ago?" she gasped aloud.

The two other women glanced at each other before both leaned forward. The kindly teacher took hold of one of her hands as she spoke again.

"Are you sure Hermione? Because what you are saying is that you have not had a period since around the time you were...tortured. Is that right?" she asked.

"Yes...yes I am sure. Please Ms. Ashworth can you tell me what is going on?" she pleaded with her voice now tainted with fright. Instead it was the Healer who spoke again.

"Hermione...I know this is hard but just a last question. When you were being tortured, do you remember any other spell being cast on you beside the Cruciatus?"

"No...I don't think so...well I'm not sure. It was terrible after the first spell so I can't really say. It was just the...pain. That's all I remember...and Ron's voice from below somewhere. I'm sorry but I can't say." she finished as tears threatened to fall from her eyes. "Please can you tell me what you found?" she almost cried out.

Ms. Ashworth gently squeezed her hand as she took a deep breath. The look of pity returned on her ashen face.

"Hermione your examination has revealed that you still have a trace of dark magic in you. It is concentrated deep within your uterus. The other Healers would not have picked it up. We believe that your torturer cast one of the most despicable dark spells on you. It was mostly used before the first war to control the spread of the muggle population. The spell somehow affects the workings of a woman's cycle and prevents the production of eggs for fertilization...it was widely known as...the Barren Spell." she paused to look up at the young girl in front of her.

Hermione was shaking her head slowly in disbelief. _This could not be happening to her. NO!_ _Not this too! _She somehow found her voice.

"Can you...can you fix it?" she asked with a sob.

The spell builder bowed her head before raising her eyes again.

"I'm afraid not Hermione. There is no spell that we know that can remove that piece of dark magic within you. The only way possible is with the use of dark magic itself but we cannot risk it. There is nothing presently wrong with any of your organs. You are perfectly healthy as you are. The use of dark magic to remove what is inside you will surely result in irreversible damage to the organs or fatally even worse to you Hermione. We cannot risk it. I am so sorry." she explained with a slight quiver in her voice.

Tears were now flowing down her cheeks as Hermione struggled to compose herself.

"Has there ever been a case where the curse has been reversed?" she asked hopefully. The woman nodded slowly.

"Yes there have been one or two cases recorded...very rare but there has been no research to show why." she hurried on as she sensed a glimmer of hope. "Hermione you are healthy and strong. Nothing will happen to you as a result of this but please do not build your hopes. You can lead a normal life for a long time. There are other avenues you can take if you want a family."

Hermione suddenly felt like she was hit with a solid wave of heat. _She could not have a normal family...a loving happy family with...Ron! Oh God! What would he say?_ She was still reeling with new despair when the woman holding her hand spoke again.

"There is something else. Because of your condition you will not be able practice any dark magic Hermione. It will be too dangerous for you. I am sorry but I cannot allow anything to happen to you." she explained. " You are welcome to continue with our other lessons and of course you can stay on here at the school for as long as you wish but I strongly recommend you return to your...loved ones. We will not reveal your condition to anyone without your consent but you should talk to someone soon." she implored.

The two older women stood up and spoke some reassuring words to her but she heard nothing as she was left by herself in the comfortable sitting room surrounded by books. She stared straight ahead for a few minutes before the tears fell freely and sobs racked her body. She bent forward hugging her stomach as she cried like she never had before. She cried for herself but she cried for what she had suddenly lost.

_She was scarred forever. With dark Magic forever inside her. Who would want her now? How could she tell Ron? Their plan. What would become of their plan now? She could never give him the children he wanted. The children he deserved. The life he deserved. She would always be a burden to him. She had lost her parents forever and the ability to have her own offspring in one fell swoop. She could not put him through this now. He deserved better._

She could never tell him the truth. She knew him well enough now. He would never leave her if he knew. He would protect her like he always did. He would tell her that his love for her would be enough. He would swear that not having a family would not deter him. He would tell her that they would have a good life together...no matter what. But she knew better. She could not have what she wanted but she could give him the chance for a better life with someone who could give him what she could not.

Heaving herself up she left the office and headed straight to her room. Grabbing a piece of parchment and a fresh quill she sat down at her desk. She scribbled steadily and resolutely only pausing to wipe the tears that flowed continuously down her face as she wrote.

**o0o**

It had been four days since the attack on the small pub and the revelation from Harry. They had only returned to the training camp to grab some gear and clothes before setting out to a makeshift camp at the Ministry. They were working round the clock to find anything to help them solve this case. The looks on the faces of the dead men and women inside the pub drove them on. Everyone was deployed to dig up any clue. Every snitch, every lead, every person who had contact with Voldemort was explored and after four days they had come up with one name. Evan Sanderson.

He was a muggle born wizard who still plied his trade in the muggle world. Trained as a physicist at a muggle University in his younger days, he exploited his magical ability by inventing various dangerous contraptions and selling them to the highest bidder. He had been caught many times but had managed to escape Azkaban due to lack of evidence. As he got older Sanderson also got a lot wiser and soon linked up with Voldemort early on in the war with the promise of untold riches if he could help with the destruction and waste that the dark lord so cherished. A full alert was on to find him with no success and the Auror department was now at a lost to getting any closer to putting this new danger to rest...until a lucky break fell into their lap.

They were contacted by a Death Eater know as Abraham Carver, one of the most obscure followers of the dark lord. He had asked for a full pardon in exchange for information that he possessed. After two primary meetings to ascertain the sincerity of the new informant, a third and final meeting was scheduled at an abandoned farmhouse to finalize the deal. It appeared that Sanderson was indeed working with the Death Eaters to unleash the mind bombs for the right price. All the detailed information was to be gotten from Carver at the final meeting before bringing him in for sanctuary.

This was the agreement and this was where Ron and Harry were now stationed. At the back of the farmhouse between two short trees than hid their position. The death eater informant had shown up ten minutes ago and the meeting was underway with all the recruits on guard duty on the exterior.

"You think this guy really knows something?" Ron asked as he shifted his legs to get more comfortable.

"Well Kingsley believes so. I certainly hope we can get enough information to stop them from...you know." Harry whispered back as Ron shuddered next to him.

"Bloody Hell Harry. Can you imagine letting a bigger version of that bomb go off in a large crowed space like...at a Quidditch game or at the Ministry or an open marketplace? God! you're right mate. We have to stop them." he growled under his breath.

"That's why we are here Ron...to make a difference. We know now there are still a lot of crazy people out there who don't give a damn about hurting innocent bystanders." Harry also flexed his arm as he glanced at Ron who seemed to suddenly glaze over.

"Yeah I know mate. It makes me even a bit relieved that Hermione is not around this mess...not that I won't like her to be around but...you know...I feel better that she's safe even if it's in bloody Australia." he explained as Harry nodded in acknowledgement.

"Know what you mean. I'm glad that Ginny is in Hogwarts too. I missed mail this week. Didn't even have time to check." Harry muttered.

"Yeah me too. Didn't even have the time to send her a note." Ron suddenly paused as he sat up a bit. "Wait...if this case goes on...do you think they will cancel our pass this weekend? Shite! What's going on inside there? Let's just get this bastard, find those bomb thingys and give us the week off." he ramble impatiently as Harry chuckled next to him in the dark.

"Sorry pal but we both know things don't always go as we want. I know you had a romantic weekend planned but we also know that this is too important. Something will work out don't kick yourself too hard." he said sympathetically. Ron let out a small sighed at his remark.

"It's not just the...romantic part Harry. It's just that..I get the feeling that something is not right with her. She tries to sound strong in her letters but maybe it's just her frustration in not finding a way to help her parents." he dropped his voice here. "Do you think that maybe she just wants to...you know...forget about me and stay in Australia?" he winced at his own statement as his throat suddenly went dry.

"Are you daft? Merlin's sack Ron! Why do you keep doing this. She loves you. She's probably homesick and she misses you even more than you miss her you dumb nut. I would..." Harry was set to continue with his tirade when a movement in the distance caught his eye. He quickly motioned Ron to keep quiet as they both studied the landscape.

"Four unidentified bodies moving towards us and moving fast" Harry stated flatly. He quickly sent the message to Auror Stevens as he felt Ron stiffen next to him. A message returned quietly to them almost immediately.

"They are coming from all sides! Death Eaters! Hold your position and engage only when you are sure they are within striking distance. Hold until then!

Harry turned to his friend at his side. "You think this was a trap? he asked. Ron hesitated for a second.

"Nah they would have struck earlier. They are not coming for us Harry. They want Carver." he reasoned.

"OK. This is it then. Just as we practiced Ron. Together. You take the left and I will take the right starting from outside in." Harry went into combat mode in a flash.

The four black clad Death Eaters were almost upon them when they both stood up and fired stunning spells simultaneously. The two outer intruders dropped heavily to the ground. Ron immediately set up his shield as Harry let go another stunner hitting a third as a spell ricocheted off his shied. They both ran as one darting to the left as Harry put up his shield this time. Ron released his stunner aiming just behind the fourth death eater as he ran, his spell hitting the target square on. They both skidded to a halt and swivelled around as the sound of battle exploded around them.

"Nice shot Ron. Come on. Let's get to the others." Harry shouted.

As they rounded the farmhouse, it was evident that the majority of the attackers were concentrated here as the small guard was being overwhelmed. Harry and Ron joined the battle...always together...always as one unit. They were slowly winning back ground when suddenly all the death eaters disapparated out in a swirl leaving them panting with exertion. They all turned as Shaklebolt reeled out of the front door bleeding from the side of his head.

"They apparated inside. We were caught off guard...they got him. Carver is dead!" he struggled with his words but everyone heard him. Harry quickly moved to the man's side and held him up with his arm.

"Did you get anything? Did he say anything of worth before they got him." he asked what everyone wanted to know. The big man leaned over a bit but nodded.

"We got enough I think but we have to act on it fast." he turned as the next man came up behind him.

Head Auror Roberts was also bleeding from a cut above his eye but he looked resolved as he addressed the team in front of him.

"OK Listen up everyone. As the Minister just said we have to put a plan in action as quickly as possible. It's not going to be easy considering what we just found out. I know most of you have not slept much over the last few days but time is of the essence now. All the senior Aurors are to report to headquarters immediately and all recruits are to report back to their training camp." the head Auror paused to wipe some blood off his forehead before continuing.

"They will be a general briefing and strategy meeting in six hours from now. Get some rest as you will all be expected to attend at headquarters then. Move!" he ordered.

Harry turned to Ron and slapped him on the shoulder with a grim face.

"Well so much for our weekend pass mate. I told you...nothing ever goes as we want it to."

**o0o**


	6. Chapter 6: Despair & Dejection

**Chapter 6 - Despair & Dejection**

_Dear Ron,_

_I haven't heard from you since my last letters and I am desperately hoping that everything is alright with you and Harry. I suspect that you are very busy with your training and haven't had the time to respond. I know I haven't said it enough but I am very proud of your achievements and I hope that you continue to excel in all you do. I always knew you could become a brilliant Auror as you have all the necessary qualities to do so. You deserve everything that comes to you and you deserve a fulfilled life in the future._

_I have made a few decisions that I need to tell you and I hope you will understand. Even if you don't, I need you to trust me and to support my decisions. I am doing this for both of us and while I know it will be hard, you need to concentrate on your training right now and not worry about me and my circumstances._

_Firstly, I have decided to continue on in Australia and finish my schooling over here. I have already started and I believe it is better to continue than to switch at this stage. I have made a few new friends here and while it is not Hogwarts I really think it is best for me at this time. I will come home for Christmas but will return to complete the year in Australia. Secondly, I am not stressing out too much again about my parents. I have researched, studied and tried everything I could to come up with a solution to my problem but I have now come to realize the truth. I will never get them back. As you said so long ago, they are safe and leading good healthy lives on their own and I will accept that. There is nothing I can do to change that but I can still be close to them physically for a while._

_The last decision and probably the hardest I could ever consider in my life is that I think you should not come here to see me on your first break. I will be home at Christmas and I will see you then. As I said before you have your training and your career to consider as your priority and I need to come to terms with some things that I need to deal with on my own. It is not that I do not want to see you Ron, I do but it will just be too hard to continue with my decisions if I see you. I need to keep my head clear and you being here will only confuse me. Please understand. Try not to worry about me and see about yourself for a change. I am safe here I will be home in a few months and of course will continue to write you every day._

_Please know Ron that you are the most important person to me and all I want is for you to be happy and to live a beautiful life that you have worked so hard to attain, the life that you deserve. I will see you soon I promise._

_love,_

_Hermione _

As all the other recruits were settling down in their bunks for a well deserved rest, Ron sat on his own hard mattress shell shocked and stunned to the core with the letter in his hand and his heart squeezed dry in his chest.

What the bloody fuck had happened! He had been so eager and happy to grab his mail and to settle into his bed to read the familiar hand writing that he had not even changed out of his robes from the night before. Now he was totally confused, hurt and lost. Where had this come from? Out of the blue and totally unexpected! What had happened to her?

He quickly scanned all the previous letters he had skipped having started at the last one but became even more confused as he read. There was nothing there except for the mention of her starting a new phase of lessons dealing with the dark arts. She had even mentioned them talking when he saw her next. And now this! Something was wrong he knew deep inside. His worst fears of her forgetting about him and moving forward knocked at his head but this did not feel right. He was training to become an Auror and to read people but this was elementary. This was all wrong!

He suddenly scanned across the room then quickly stood and rushed to the bed his best friend was lying in at the moment. They only had a few hours to get some rest but he was already forming a plan in his head and sleep was not on the agenda.

"Harry! Harry! Are you asleep? I need to talk to you." he crouched at the side of the bed as he whispered anxiously at his black haired friend.

The other boy opened his eyes sleepily and frowned.

"Ron get some rest. We have to be back at Headquarters in a few hours and I need to sleep so _go_." he groaned as he rolled over.

Ron reached out with a long arm and pulled him back over with an exasperated sigh.

"Listen Harry. I'm going to Australia and I need you to cover for me...just for a little while...in case I can't get back in time." he hurried out before glancing around to ensure no one else had heard him.

Harry suddenly sat up straight with the sheets sliding off his frame.

"Wha...What! Have you gone absolutely batters? You just can't take off like that Ron. Especially now. Stevens will never allow it. You know that...What the hell happened?" Harry asked as he realised that his friend was dead serious.

"I just got a letter from Hermione. Something is wrong Harry. I know it. I have to see her and talk to her. Just to make sure she's alright. I already have the portkey planned and approved...I will just be leaving a bit earlier that's all." he shrugged. "And I know Stevens will never allow me to go...but I am not asking him. He will be so busy with all this that he will never find out. I just need to go and see her Harry. Please! I will be back as soon as I talk to her and see for myself that she is ok. No one will know. Just cover for me until I get back, I promise I will be there for the briefing." he was almost begging by now.

Harry ran his hands through his hair as he groaned softly.

"Shit Ron. This is crazy. Even if you could get through the transport department how are you so sure you could get back here in time?" he asked even though he suspected his friend didn't really care at this stage.

"I know where the school is Harry. I went there with Hermione already. I can apparate there and back to the portkey office in Australia. I'll be back I promise. Just cover for me if anyone asks ok?" he made to stand as his friend grabbed his arm.

"You better get your arse back here you git or else I will kill you. Oh and...say hi to Hermione for me." he smiled before laying back down in his bed pulling the sheets over him again.

Ron did not smile in return but remained with a determined face as he grabbed his bag and slipped out of the room unnoticed to all the sleeping recruits.

**o0o**

Hermione sat unmoving on the couch in the little sitting room just outside her new dorm with an unopened book in her lap. It was not the comfy common room she had grown to love back at Hogwarts but it afforded her the opportunity to be on her own when she wanted. She never went down to the real common room of the school as she preferred to be away from all the prying eyes anyway. She was sure it didn't help her reputation as being anti social but at the moment she couldn't care less. In her current state, she didn't want to see anyone and she surely wasn't in the mood to make any small talk with anyone either.

She had skipped all her classes for the last two days feinting illness, something she thought she would never do in her life. But as she closed her swollen and puffy eyes she unwillingly acknowledged that she had also done something else that she never dreamed of doing...she had asked him to stay away from her. After all they had been through...after he had sworn that he would never leave her again, she was now asking him to not come back. As the tears began again she shook he head in sorrow.

Even the pain of not being able to bear children could not outweigh the agony of not being able to bear _his_ children. But the thought of not seeing him again was the constant stab in her heart...the constant ache deep within her. Could she really do this? She had written him the letter in the depth of her grief and now she wondered if she could hold up her end of the deal. She had just wanted time for her to come to terms with her new predicament. She needed time for her to accept what she knew was the right thing. She would remain his friend as long as she could but she would have to pull away and hope that he could find a better life first with his job and eventually with someone who could give him...all that she couldn't. She would stick it out here and learn to live without him.

The door creaked open and she hastily wiped away the tears from her face as Erin crossed over to the couch with a look of genuine concern on her face.

"Hermione? Are you ok? I know you are not feeling well but I know it's something else. Can I help you with anything?" her friend asked. "I brought all the notes from yesterday if you want to go over them." she informed her. Hermione tried to conjure a thankful smile.

"Thanks Erin. Don't worry too much about me. It's just something I have to deal with." she tried a smile again but failed.

"Is...is it about Ron? Is everything all right with...you know." the girl asked hesitantly.

Hermione fought back a fresh set of tears as she turned away opening the book on her lap pretending to begin to read.

"In a way...but not really. I'll be all right Erin. Please go to your class. We can talk later ok?" she quickly brushed her off gently.

The pretty girl looked torn for a moment but accepted her promise of a talk in the distant future.

"Ok. Just take care. Eric and I are just worried about you. I really hope you feel better Hermione." she gave her a small smile before leaving the room. Hermione softly leaned against the back of the couch closing her eyes again with a soft sigh.

A few minutes passed before she heard the door open again with a heavy hand. She groaned in her head. Didn't he listen to his sister?

"Eric I told your sister I was fine so please do not bother. I know you are worried but I just need to be alone for a while." she said without opening her eyes.

"Well I hope Eric is not the reason for that bloody awful letter and you certainly do not look fine at all to me." a familiar voice rung out across the room.

Her eyes flew open as her heart jumped in her chest. He was standing just inside the doorway with a look of confusion and relief.

"Ron! What are you doing here? How did you get..." she faded away under his gaze as he took a step towards her. She was already sinking faster than she thought. He couldn't be here. She wasn't ready for him. She would not last in her present condition.

"I came as soon as I got that damn letter. I thought something was wrong with you Hermione. What the hell is going on? Are you all right?" he asked as he scanned her over with his eyes.

She was immediately caught between with the urge to throw herself on him and beg for forgiveness and to turn and run away as far as possible from the concern in his deep blue eyes staring at her. She tried to gather herself.

"I'm fine. You cannot be here Ron...you will get in trouble coming here. I told you...I told you I will see you at Christmas." she tried to sound calm but the words stuttered out horribly and she dared not look at him directly. He drew a sharp breath and stepped even closer.

"You are not fine! Damn it Hermione! What is going on? Did you really mean everything in that letter? Please tell me you didn't?" he asked sharply. She glanced at him and knew he was trying to keep all his emotions in check but for how long she had no idea. She had to get him away from her fast.

"Ron go back home please. You need to leave now before you get in more trouble" she deliberately ignored his questions as she remained sitting straight up on the couch. To her surprise he suddenly slumped his shoulders and drew his hands through his hair in agony. He looked deflated.

"Hermione please...no. You can't mean this. Is it something I have done? Do you want to end this? Just tell me what I have to do to fix this. Is it that Eric guy? Please tell me no...please Hermione." his voice broke as he dropped his hands to his side.

Just like that, all her resolve vanished into thin air. She just could not see him like this. She could not hurt him but she wasn't too sure what to tell him at the moment.

"Ron it's not you...it's not anyone else either. It's me. I just have to sort things out...I just need some time that's all. Please try to understand..." she felt the tears begin to roll down her face but she couldn't help herself now. He looked up at her again with confusion on his face as she was dying slowly in front of him.

"Time? You want time? After all the time we wasted Hermione. After all we have gone through. I thought we were past that. We were together. What has changed? Tell me. Do you not love me again? What the hell is it?" he asked in desperation.

_Tell him! Just tell him! and it will be all over._

"Don't say that Ron. I love you. I will always love you. It's just that..." she struggled to get the words out. "You are making this so...hard for me now" she sobbed.

He visibly shook as he seemed to lose all the control he had kept inside from the moment he entered the room.

"Hard for you! God Hermione what the hell do you think this is for me. You are not making any sense. You say you love me but you don't want to be with me. Look if that's the case I am going to make it very easy for you. Just tell me...do you still want a life with me...the life we agreed we wanted...our plan. Do you still want everything in that plan of ours or not?" he looked angry but there were tears in his beautiful eyes as he waited.

She open her mouth but nothing came out. She choked and swallowed as she wiped her eyes. _She loved him so much but she had ruined their plan. How could she tell him._

"I do. I do want it...but I can't...I can't give you..." she managed to stammer out before someone came running through the door again.

"Hermione, Erin says you are not looking well at all. I know you don't want to see anyone but..." the tanned blonde hair boy suddenly realised he was not the only male in the room and paused awkwardly. "Oh sorry. I didn't realise you had someone here..."

Ron turned slowly to look at the new face and pulled away sharply from her. He gave her a quick hurtful glance.

"You're right. She doesn't want to see anyone right now especially me it seems so I'm leaving. I'm already late." he stomped through the door and vanished in a flash.

After an agonizing second, Hermione suddenly found her legs and bolted up from her seat, rushing past her surprised classmate and running through the door as quickly as her legs could take her. She was shouting as she scanned the corridors.

"Ron! Ron! Come back please! Don't go!" she screamed as she rounded the first corner and almost ran into the tall lanky body that was as stiff as a nail. He quickly moved away and glared at her again his anger finally taking over she could tell.

"What! What Hermione. You wanted me to go and that is what I am doing. You were right. I left at the worst possible time without any authorization and I have to get back now. I can't stay. I am already in deep shit." he looked at her as his eyes watered over again. "...I came all this way just to make sure you were ok and while I am still as confused as before, at least I know you're not under the imperious or anything. I'll just let you be Hermione...just like you wish. I said I would never leave you again willingly. This is on you." he finished softly.

His words tore inside of her but the fact that he admitted that he was already in trouble with his job scared her terribly. It was the one thing she really wanted for him and she would not let her selfish wishes stand in his way.

"Ron...please. Just know that I love you and this is not..." he never let her finish.

"Right you love me...just not enough to make a life together. I get it. I suppose I always did. " he moved further away in one stride before disappearing with a loud pop.

Her legs buckled out from under her as she screamed out again into nothingness.

"No! No! Ron!" That's not how I feel!" she fell heavily against the floor as she continued to sob out quietly over the cold stone.

"That's not how I feel Ron. I wanted it so bad. I still want it...I still want you.

**o0o**

**AN: **A bit of a short chapter but fits in the story as I planned it. The last bit was agony for me to write but it had to be done.


	7. Chapter 7: Strategy & Sacrifice

**Chapter 7 - Strategy & Sacrifice**

Harry was beside himself with worry as he paced the corridor outside the briefing room of the Auror Headquarters at the Ministry. His head buzzed with worry. There was a greedy genius at loose with god knows how many more of those fearful bombs in his possession, a pack of loyal Death Eaters who would kill one of their own with ease, an understaffed and exhausted Auror Department...and his best friend was missing.

Well not missing...as he knew exactly where he had gone but the briefing was due to start in a few minutes and he had not turned up as promised. The stupid, daft, head over heels in love nitwit! How the hell had he allowed him to leave on the eve of such an important mission. He needed his friend focused on the problem at hand if they were to try and stop this crazy wizard and running off behind everyone's back to visit his girlfriend was not the best way to prepare at the moment. He had covered for him earlier with some lame excuse of a stomach bug that made his absence believable but he could not hope to explain his disappearance for the meeting.

And what in Merlin's name was up with Hermione? He had been so relieved and happy when his two closest friends had finally gotten together after the war only to see Ron almost falling apart a few hours ago with the arrival of one darn letter. Ron was really doing well in his training and he would hate to think that it would all go up in smoke over some silly argument. He thought that they were past those days. He really hoped all was well with her and that his friend would return in a better frame of mind...

The door clanged open behind him and one of his fellow trainees poked his head out.

"Hey Potter. This thing is about to start. Is Weasley still crapping in the bloody loo? You need to get in here like soon." he informed before slamming the door shut again. Harry let loose another silent curse under his breath as he glanced down the end of the corridor one last time.

"I'll kill him. I really will this time." he muttered to himself as he turned towards the door.

His hand was on the handle when hurried footsteps broke the silence and as he looked over his shoulder the tall redhead came running at full speed down the corridor and almost ran into the closed door as he skidded to a stop next to him. Harry had never felt so relieved as he turned to his wayward friend.

"I swear your bollocks were this close to taking a permanent holiday away from the rest of your body." he swore more in jest than anything. He half expected some glib reply and a laugh in return but as he looked closely at his friend he knew that his wish of a few seconds ago was not going to happen. His face was ashen and drawn and his eyes were definitely not focused. Harry kept his hand on the door handle but made no effort to push it open.

"Hey. Are you all right? What happened? Is Hermione ok?" he asked with some concern. Ron looked away as he also reached for the door.

"Yeah she's just fine. Don't have to worry about her." he almost gritted through his teeth before he sagged a bit and closed his eyes for a second. "Come on Harry. We're late and I really don't want to talk about this." he pushed the door open and rushed inside before Harry had a chance to say another word.

As they were the last ones in the room, they sat in the back next to each other along with the rest of the trainees. The senior Aurors were all seated up front as expected but Harry could clearly make out a large map and a plan drawing of a large mansion hovering magically in front of the room. As he tried to take a better look, the head Auror appeared next to the map and drawing as he prepared to start the briefing. He glanced at his friend next to him but it was obvious that Ron did not want anyone disturbing him. His hands were clenched in front of him and he glared ahead as if Malfoy himself was giving the briefing. He debated asking a question anyway but the voice of Roberts boomed over the room and he turned to the front with a sigh.

"Ok everybody we have a lot to get through and a lot to plan and decide on so let's get started right away. I will brief you on the current situation and then...our preferred plan of action. " he glanced at the Ministry Head briefly before continuing. Harry wondered if they had not unanimously agreed on the plan of action hence the slight hesitation.

"As you all know, we have gotten some inside information on the making and deployment of the...mind bombs as Potter calls them and we have reason to believe that the information is true. Firstly, Sanderson is definitely involved and is the one responsible for making and marketing these bombs. He was spotted leaving Paris this morning but we lost him before we could make any apprehension. He cannot take a portkey without us finding out but we believe we know where he is heading." he paused to point at the map beside him.

"The most important fact we now are aware of is that Sanderson and the Death Eaters are now operating out of the old hideout of Voldemort. We never found out where he was staying during the war but we now know it's in an old mansion hidden away on the South Coast just west of Eastbourne. It appears that Voldemort wanted to keep close to France no doubt to make it easier to expand his tentacles further south..."

"Are we sure that they are currently there?" came a question from the front. The Head Auror nodded grimly.

"We sent a scouting party a few hours ago. It took them a while but they were able to pierce the concealment spells. The house is situated next to a high cliff only accessible from the front. While they could not see anyone inside they are sure that the house is occupied." he paused again to clear his throat.

"Before I brief you on the house itself, I want to let you know that we have it from the informant that there are in fact...seven more bombs ready for deployment and there are a lot larger than the one that went off in London a while ago." he had to stop as there was a sudden loud stirring among the room.

_"Shite! Merlin! Seven more!" Harry thought. "This could be a real disaster for everyone if we can't stop them soon."_

Harry again glanced at Ron with the news but his expression had not faltered from the time he entered the room.

"OK OK settle down." the voice in front bellowed. "I know this is not good news but it only makes this mission more important...probably more important than anything else we have encountered since the war. Sanderson is selling or has sold these bombs to a number of organizations all over the world, magical and muggle ones included, which makes it imperative we destroy them today before they get a chance to move them." the Head Auror now moved to the plan drawing of the house itself. "We can only assume than Sanderson is on the way to the mansion and that is why we have to move fast."

"So what are we waiting for? We know where it is so let's get a move on and storm the house before it's too late." Harry voiced from the back with a degree of desperation and to the general agreement with everyone else in the room.

"It's not as straightforward as you think." the Head Auror informed them loudly as he moved closer to the plan.

"Sanderson with his brilliance has made some modifications to the protective spells surrounding the house. He has managed to amplify the alarm spell to stretch in all directions just over a mile all around the house and the spell is also stronger than we have ever encountered before. It is almost impossible to break in its present form. Nothing stays in the air behind the house so we cannot fly in from behind. we cannot apparate in also as the alarm spell prevents us doing so. " he took on a look of frustration as he ran his sweaty hands through his hair.

"We have looked at and discarded all other possibilities...we cannot risk them finding us. If the alarm goes off they will have enough time to take the bombs and disappear." he finished with a defeated sigh.

"So what the hell are we going to do?" came the obvious question from the front again.

"We wait." the Auror then admitted. "We wait until they leave. We have put up some tracing spells around the house and we will have to follow everyone who leaves and try to intercept any sale of the bombs, capture the parties and get rid of those foul devices before anyone uses them." he answered solidly.

Harry stood up at once with his hand in the air.

"But that could take ages and we do not have the manpower to follow and track everyone who leaves. What if we miss someone? and what if we cannot stop them from passing on one of those things? There must be another way surely." he questioned.

The Minister of Magic sitting at the front cleared his throat as he looked meaningfully at the Head Auror. It was obvious that he was prodding the man to continue. There was a small nod between the two men before Roberts started again.

"Yes...there is another option but one that carries a great amount of...personal risk." he looked around the room as everyone waited in anticipation.

"We cannot break down the whole protection spell but we believe we can clear a narrow path through the barrier for just a few minutes affording one or two of us to reach the house." he now was pointing to the house plan.

"They will then have to break into the house and make their way undetected to the west wing where the bombs and the amplification mechanism are housed. There they will set one of our own explosive devices which will detonate on a timer and destroy all the others as well as weakening the protection spell around the house." here he hesitated with the part that obviously bothered him.

"Whoever gets to this area will have to secure themselves until we can get the barriers down completely and invade the house." he finished softly looking straight ahead this time.

A senior Auror standing on the side then raised his arm slowly.

"Just how long exactly can you hold this path through the protection spell? he asked.

"Just a few minutes. Maybe for five or six minutes maximum we think." he answered again slowly as the room bursts into noise all around. The senior Auror with his arm still raised continued with his assessment.

"Are you saying that we have to cover just over a mile in under five or six minutes to get to the house, then somehow pass undetected to get inside most probably a guarded room. Then set an explosive around seven of those mind bombs and hope it doesn't affect us. Then defend against all of the death eaters in the house until the rest of us appear? What are you really saying Roberts? I suggest you tell everyone here the bottom line." he said flatly.

Everyone in the room had no doubt what was suggested and everyone knew exactly what was the bottom line. The Head Auror stood up straight and addressed them again.

"You could not have said it clearer Andrews. This will be a mission that only one or two can be expected to accomplish...and if they do manage to accomplish the primary objective of destroying the bombs...the odds of surviving after will be very small or...not at all." he raised his eyes to the room.

"That is why we are asking for volunteers on this mission. Be clear! There is no shame in this. No one will chastise you for not volunteering. You all know the situation but we still have our original plan which is the best we could develop..." he was halted from continuing by the raising of at least three hands from the front including Andrews as well as Harry and two other trainees to his left.

The Auror scanned the room quickly.

"Sorry Potter and the others in the back. We are not accepting any volunteers from the trainees. This is just too dangerous. I know you have all the ability Harry but we cannot risk you in this I'm sorry but we have already decided." he informed them hastily.

Harry was about to explode with his objection when he felt Ron stand up next to him suddenly. He should not have been surprised but his objection fell silent as his friend addressed the front of the room in a steady loud voice.

"With all due respect Auror Roberts and to all the senior Aurors with their hands up, I am not too sure you know exactly what is required. The path to the house is not flat and smooth like the training track. It will be elevated at points and rough going some of the way. Again I mean no disrespect but to make that run in under six minutes will be almost impossible for most of you. I have the fastest time over a mile on the track and still I am not too sure I can make it. Aurors Andrews, Callaway and Elwood have not made that time on the track in years maybe if they ever have...and I do not think a few hours training will now make the difference." he paused as he took a step away from his seat and looked at the trainees as Harry started to get a really bad feeling in his stomach.

"Trainees Henderson and Ervin are younger and may have a better chance at the run but they have no combat or mission experience and sorry Harry you are just an imp. Those short legs will not get you there in time mate." he managed a small smile at him but Harry was starting to panic.

Auror Roberts and the Minister both stepped forward at the same time but the Minister spoke first.

"Ron this just too dangerous for you. The same applies to you as Harry. We cannot allow it sorry." he stated emphatically. Just as Ron was about to answer, Stevens the training supervisor stepped in.

"I agree with Weasley. There is no one here other than him who can make that run. I am sure of it. He also has the experience with Potter over the years which is a lot more than we could have hoped for. Potter is also right. The waiting plan has too many flaws and the risk of just one of those bombs finding their way into the wrong hands is just too great. I know that and so do you Minister." he finished pointedly.

Ron used the pause to continue.

"I could not live with myself if one of those things goes off somewhere and destroys hundreds of lives or maybe more and I did not try to stop it when I could." he stated fiercely. "I can do this, I know I can at least stop those wretched things from leaving that house." Harry noted with a sinking feeling that he deliberately left out the part that came after. _This was crazy!_ His head was spinning with a way to stop Ron from his plan but he could not think of any way.

The Minister looked defeated as he looked at Ron from his own tall height.

"I know you feel you have to try Ron but you just came out of a war. You do not have to do this again. Let someone else go." the big man seemed not to care that he was somehow letting his personal feelings show.

Ron took a step away from Harry as if sensing a reaction from his next words.

"I have to try Kingsley and it has to be me. Henderson just got married before his training started and Ervin is now starting a young family. His wife is expecting in a few months. I have my family but other than that...I...I have no one else." he stuttered out the last part but managed to keep a straight face. Harry was too shocked to mutter a word.

Head Auror Roberts now made the decision.

"Right. Everyone is to report to the camp site just outside the spell barrier of the mansion in Eastbourne. Weasley you have a half hour to...see your family before preparation for your mission." he ordered gently. Ron hesitated for a brief second.

"It's ok Auror Roberts I prefer to just get this over with now. Time is of the essence you said so I'm coming right away." he said with a hint of regret in his voice as he grabbed his bag.

Harry finally found his legs and grabbed Ron's arm.

"Ron what the hell are you saying? This is crazy!" was all he could say.

"You heard him Harry. I have to do this. No one else can." Ron answered a bit too quickly.

"I..I'm not talking about that. What about Hermione? You just can't do this without thinking about her." he clarified. Ron shook his head at him.

"Who says I'm not thinking about her. God damn Harry. You of all people should know about this. We just have to do...what we have to do sometimes. Suppose one of those bombs makes its way to Australia. To that school...or any other school as a matter of fact." he hissed at Harry.

Harry knew he has just lost any foothold of an argument against this and he slumped his shoulders at the thought.

"Shit Ron. Just be careful in there. I just wish...I just wish I could come with you." he stated genuinely.

"I know mate. Just give me your invisible cloak. It should come in handy inside and make sure you get your arse inside as fast as you can. Don't want you to miss all the action would I?" he said bravely. Harry dug into his bag slowly for his cloak to delay the inevitable.

"You better wait for me you git but if you...you know...what do I tell her if..." he couldn't finish as Ron stopped him with a hand on his shoulder and a faraway look on his face. Harry felt the steady weight of their years together, a weight that he was so accustomed to slowly evaporating around them.

"Just tell her that...tell her that I was glad to see her." he said softly as he turned and strode out of the room resolutely.

**o0o**


	8. Chapter 8: Clarity & Confessions

**Chapter 8 - Clarity & Confessions**

_She was standing on the edge of a precipice looking down into a dark empty space of blackness with the sound of fire crackling at her back. She was trapped on this little ledge. Not able to go back and deathly afraid of jumping forward. Sweat pouring down her face as she felt the flames behind her jump and lick against her clothes. Staring down into uncertainty in front of her. Why couldn't she see what was down there? So dark and unclear. Would she sink and disappear altogether? Or would she be saved? Someone calling from below. She strained her ears above the roar behind her. Was that her name? The heat was unbearable now as she clenched her teeth and leapt into the darkness with a scream on her lips..._

Hermione woke with a loud shout as she jumped upright clutching at her chest. Taking a few huge breaths she shook her sweat drenched hair before getting off her bed in a hurried dash. She could not stay here. She knew this now. Grabbing a small bag she began to pack a few things in a hurry laughing at the thought that it had taken a crazy dream to finally clear her head. After Ron had left...left her...she had dragged herself back to her room and cried her eyes dry never thinking she would be able to even sleep again with the pain inside her.

She had messed things up completely and was at a total loss as to what she could possibly do to make her life return to even a semblance of sanity. He had left with the worse possible notion...that she did not love him enough to make a life with him. She winced inside this time. She was just eighteen years old yet the mere idea that Ron could believe this...this unthinkable lie pushed her forward. He was everything to her and a life with him was all she had ever wanted. She was young but her heart had been set for years. He deserved a future but he also deserved the truth. She would tell him about her inability to give him a future filled with children...her inability to make his life complete and somehow convince him that being apart was the logical and right thing to do.

_Who was she fooling! This was Ron Weasley. He would never listen to her. When had he ever done so when it came to doing the logical thing. He would throw a fit and they would probably end up screaming at each other. Well so be it. She was prepared for a fight. She had to be the strong one here. At least he would know her true reasons and she could die a slow death knowing she had done the right thing for him. She would find a way..._

A knock at her door interrupted her thoughts and she turned in surprise to see Ms. Ashworth standing inside the doorway. The teacher quickly glanced at her state and her hurried attempt at packing before stepping inside. Hermione quickly found her manners.

"Hello Ms. Ashworth. I suppose Erin and Erin had a few words with you." she stated the obvious. The older woman nodded slightly as she took another step into the room.

"Yes they did but I have to admit that I was also a bit worried about you Hermione. You must be terrible upset and I had hoped that you could talk to someone closer to you." she then pointed at the half packed bag at her side as she sat in the nearest chair. " At least it seems that you have made a few decisions now. I'm glad." she finished. Hermione sighed loudly as she also took a seat on the bed.

"Well I do not really have anyone close now that my parents are..." she trailed off quietly as the tears again threatened. "but I have to go and talk to Ron. He was here but he left without...without knowing." she said quickly as she wiped her eyes. Ms. Ashworth nodded again knowingly.

"You didn't tell him and now you are going to try and make things right?" she reasoned.

Hermione wasn't too sure if to elaborate on her guess or not but the kind looking teacher continued before she could speak.

"For what it's worth, having seen the two of you together I am sure that the young man loves you very much Hermione and that things will work out." she stated with a small smile. The observation only made the tears flow harder.

"He does. I know he does love me Ms. Ashworth but that's just it. He is so loyal and caring to a fault. He is now starting his career and he will totally overlook his future to do the right thing and I can't allow him to do that. I love him too much. He has his whole life ahead of him and all I will do is bring him down with all my troubles and...limitations." she stuttered through her sobs now. God! When would she stop crying!

Ms. Ashworth looked a bit affected but there was genuine concern on her face as she fully understood the young woman's intentions.

"Hermione, please permit me to speak my mind. After you tell him about your condition as I am hoping you will...and after you decide to leave him to a better future as you say...can you ever be happy by yourself or with anyone else in this future of yours?" she asked

Hermione did not have to even think about her answer as she shook her head. The thought hit her like a stunning spell to her head as she sobbed openly.

"I don't even know if I could last a day without him and if I survive I know I will never feel complete again." she cried. "I have loved him for so long and I will never stop. I can hope to have some kind of a life but I guess...I will never truly be happy again." she admitted as she planted her face between her hands in anguish.

Ms. Ashworth then reached out and pulled her hands away from her face making her raise her eyes to the woman in front of her.

"Then if that is the case Hermione, and if you are sure that he loves you as much...what makes you believe that Ron could possibly live a happy and fulfilled life without you?" she asked quietly. "You cannot make this decision by yourself. You have to give this a chance. I am not an expert and I have not lived long enough but I am sure that a love like yours and Ron does not come along too often. You have to give it a try Hermione. Just think about it." she finished with a squeeze of her hands as she let go.

As he dried her eyes for the hundredth time for the day Hermione let the words sink in. Could she be right? She had focussed all her logic on Ron's future with all the trappings that came with his plan yet forgot to factor in his love for her. He loved her!...only her...they were surely meant for each other no matter what. She felt a weight lift off her shoulders as she noticed the light shining through onto her bed. _She was right!_ How could she have thought otherwise. If he let her, they could have a perfectly happy life together barren spell or not! Oh God! What had she done! She had to see him!

She straightened up and gave her teacher a long hug before pulling away with a small smile.

"Ms. Ashworth. Can you get in touch with Mr. Symonds to arrange a portkey home for me as soon as possible? she asked in earnest.

o0o

Hermione steadied her stomach with a few deep breaths as she landed on her feet at the portkey arrival point in the Ministry of Magic headquarters in England. The room was barren but large enough to hold two dozen people at a time if needed and was situated just off the main offices of transportation. It had taken a while with the necessity of taking two separate transfers but Mr. Symonds had really come through for her. After signing herself out she paused to consider her next move. Ron was probably back at his training camp or in the field providing he was not in trouble for his unscheduled trip to Australia. He was due for leave the coming weekend so she could always wait at the Burrow for him or she could try and get word to him that she was here. Yes that was probably the best thing to do. She would head to the Auror head offices to try and leave a message for him or failing that she would just send him a letter as usual.

She secured the strap of her small travel bag across her shoulder and was walking towards the door when someone shouted her name loudly from across the room. Turning around sharply a smile quickly appeared on her face as she saw none other than Harry running towards her. She dropped her bag to the ground as she grabbed him in a big hug when he reached her. She quickly moved away to take him in.

"Harry Oh God I am so glad to see you!" she exclaimed with a laugh.

"Hermione thank god you are here. I was just going to send you a message." he gasped out.

It was only then that she realized that Harry did not share the same smile she wore on her face and the queasiness in her stomach from her recent travels returned in a flash as she now noticed the slight panic in his eyes. She held on to his arm to steady herself.

"Harry what is it? Is Ron ok?" she asked as the panic jumped into her throat. Harry brushed his right hand through his hair as he straightened his shoulders at her.

"Hell Hermione I didn't know what to do. I have to get back myself...but I had to try and reach you. He told me...but I wasn't too sure if..." Hermione stopped his rambling by shaking his arm vigorously in frustration.

"Harry shut up and tell me! Is Ron ok?" she almost shrieked out not realizing she had given Harry two contradictory orders.

Harry seemed to relax a bit at her raised voice as he took her hand from his arm but held it in front of him.

"Yes...yes he's ok...but he's going on a mission and I have to get back." he explained in a half hearted way. Hermione also relaxed with his words but she was still a bit frustrated at the lack of information.

"A mission? So what are you doing here? You have to go with him. Just look after each other and I will speak to him when you two get back." she reasoned. Harry gave her an exasperated sigh.

"I'm not going with him." he stated with a flap of his hands as he let her go. Now she was confused.

"I...I don't understand Harry. What kind of mission is it?" she asked quietly as her eyes widened involuntarily.

Harry was about to reply when he suddenly looked around and realized that they were in the middle of the office area. He quickly grabbed her bag and dragged her outside into the quiet corridor before he rounded on her with his eyes now flashing with a look of anger.

"Look Hermione I don't know what the hell happened to you two but it all started with that damn letter. He left here in a state and returned looking like shit. He was doing really well until then. What the hell happened? I thought you guys were over the stupid spats and all that." he hissed at her.

Hermione was slightly taken aback by Harry's anger but she didn't have the time and she wasn't inclined to explain her particular problems at the moment.

"I made a mistake Harry. A big mistake but I will make it right when I speak to him. It'll be ok I promise. Now tell me about this mission. He's not gone and done something stupid has he?" she asked again with a shake in her voice. Harry stared directly at her in return and her heart skipped a few beats in fear.

"It's a solo mission Hermione. Only Ron will be going. We have a really nasty situation going on now with some death eaters and it calls for immediate action. We can't wait..." he paused to take her small hand again and Hermione felt the tears build in her eyes as her heartbeat raced away inside her.

"We all agreed and it's true. Ron is the most qualified person to take on this mission even though he is just a trainee. He has the best chance to stop this before lots of people are murdered but...but the chances of him coming back...are small...or not at..." he choked out squeezing her hand tightly.

Hermione staggered and fell against the corridor wall as her tears bursts out. _No! Not like this! Not when _

_she had not even touched him when he was last with her. _

"It's all my fault! I made a stupid mistake! I made a stupid mistake and now I'll never see him again!" her cries echoed down the corridor. She would have crumpled to the floor if Harry was not holding her so tightly by her hand. She felt him give her a quick hug before he shook her slightly.

"Look at me Hermione. It not your fault. I'm sorry for what I said earlier I was a little angry but I believe Ron would have volunteered anyway. Yes he might have thought about it a little longer and he would have definitely contacted you first but he really is the best one for this and you know he's a sucker to help anyone in danger. He has my invisibility cloak and he has gotten really good with his wand so who knows...he could be fine." he tried to placate her but she suspected the worse as she shed her tears silently before him numb with worry and fear.

"Come on I'll explain the mission on my way to the special apparation point set up for us to leave. I should be the last one." he pulled her along the corridor as he quickly summarized all that had transpired since the discovery of the mind bombs and the deadly mission that Ron had chosen to undertake.

She was in a daze as she listened to him, sick with remorse and longing. _She had to see him again. She had to give him all the best reasons to return to her. She would not let this end here._ She would help in any way possible to get him back. Harry would just have to understand.

They skidded to a stop outside the Auror apparation point and Harry readied himself to enter the room when she grabbed his hand.

"I'm coming with you." she said with a steely resolve and a glare that he understood immediately.

"You cannot come with me Hermione. No one but Aurors are allowed in the field you know that." he sighed. "I will let you know as soon as I can I promise." She shook her head and held on tighter.

"No. I'm coming and you can't stop me. I will find a way to get there with or without you. I can help Harry. I can help with the protective charms. I have learned some things in my training that could ensure Ron has the best chance of making it inside and back. I won't get in the way I promise but **I am not staying here**." she stared him down.

Harry looked caught in two or three minds as she held onto him but the idea that she could offer genuine help must have loosened his original resolve. They were better together he knew that. They had always been. He huffed but pulled her into the room with him with a soft swear.

o0o

The temporary camp was comprised of two large tents and two smaller ones and was set up on a small hill overlooking the undulating clearing leading to the mansion which was poised on the edge of a cliff. Voldemort had chosen the location well as the house was situated in a national park area away from any travelled roadway and looked completely devoid of muggle life. They would never had found the house if not for the informant who had been killed for giving up the information.

Harry headed for one of the smaller tents and she followed tentatively not knowing how he would explain her presence. A tall burly man who was standing in the middle of the tent speaking to a few other Aurors spun around with a deep frown on his face as soon as Harry entered the tent. Hermione scanned the room frantically but Ron was not present.

"Where the fuck have you been Potter. You and I will have to have a long talk after this. Just because you..." he shifted his sight abruptly to Harry's side. "What the hell is she doing here! You know the rules Potter. Only authorized personnel are allowed on the site." he barked out.

"I know sir but she can help. This is Hermione Granger from..." Harry started before being interrupted.

"I know who she is Potter but God damn it this is not a site for every war veteran or girlfriend to just visit. I need Weasley focussed on this mission and I cannot have him distracted in any way." he gritted out.

Hermione was incensed at his words but was already determined to make a difference. She was about to give her retort when the Minister of Magic appeared from behind the head Auror.

"It's ok Roberts. She is not just an ordinary veteran and I will take personal responsibility for her presence here." he gave Hermione a small smile which she returned before getting down to business.

"Thank you Kingsley I appreciate it." she said turning to the burly man across from her. "Just how long can you really hold the barrier off for Ron to get to the house?" she asked pointedly.

The head Auror hesitated for a second as he glanced at the three men behind him. She surmised that they were the spell breakers but they all appeared doubtful and unsure of an answer. Robert's frown deepened as he seemed to make a decision.

"The protective barrier seems to have been strengthened since we made our initial assessment. We think we can hold a narrow strip open for five minutes at the most if we are lucky." he informed everyone openly. Harry stepped forward with a flap of his hands.

"Five minutes! He will never make that! Not in these conditions. You have to do better than that or this mission will fail before it ever gets started." he cried loudly.

"Listen Potter we are doing the best we can. This is an extremely strong protection spell we have to break open without letting off the alarm. It is complicated but it's all we can do." the Auror replied a little flustered by Harry's outburst.

"There is a better way..." Hermione interjected suddenly as everyone turned to her in surprise. Her mind was spinning wildly but she knew she was right.

"Instead of expending all our magic in keeping a long corridor open we could surround Ron with a shield strong enough to get through the barrier without detection...like a small bubble moving through the protection spells. We would have to keep it strong as he makes his way up but I think I can make it last for a few minutes longer than five." she finished with conviction. One of the spell breakers immediately drew on her idea as he addressed the head Auror enthusiastically.

"If she can make that penetrative shield, we can make it undetectable. It could work Roberts. We can buy him enough time to make it." he asserted. The burly man did not need any more convincing it seems.

"OK we do it Ms. Granger's way. Come on. Weasley has to be prepped so let's do this. We can track him from back here after he leaves." he spoke quickly as he led them down the small hillside to a small clearing at the bottom. Harry explained that they could not set up any communications between Ron and the rest of the team but they could track his movements from the base tent.

Her pulse suddenly speeded up and she stumbled a bit as she saw him standing in the clearing. He was just wearing a light vest and a track pants with a small bag tied around his waist. He appeared calm in complete contrast to her. She was somehow suddenly stricken with nerves. How would he acknowledge her? After what she said and done? Did it matter? She just wanted to see him and to let him know that she had made a huge mistake and that she was here for him. Ron had bent down to tie his lacings as the group approached and stood up slowly as Roberts reached him first. Hermione stayed at the back with her heart hammering against her chest .

"OK Weasley we have a slight change of plan. It appears we have a better way to do this compliments one Ms. Hermione Granger here who will cast a penetration shield around you which our spell breakers will make undetectable..." the head Auror carried on but Ron had snapped his eyes around the large man to look for her. She deliberately stepped into the open and as he spotted her she looked directly at him with chills running through her body_. He was right in front of her and she had thought that she would never set eyes on him again. He was leaving in a few seconds and that same thought scared her sick. _

Over the years in school Hermione had perfected certain looks that spoke volumes especially ones pertaining to the redhead staring back at her. She had perfected the glare of annoyance, the stare of pure infuriation, the squint of displeasure, rolling of the eyes in exasperation and the scowl of aggravation. However, with only a few precious seconds left between them and surrounded by strangers, she had to convey all her love, longing, trust, sorry, belief and need for him in one last look at him before he disappeared from her. She stared straight at him and tried to push all her feelings for him through her body. He opened his mouth to call her name as he made a step forward but Roberts tugged at his arm breaking the connection between them.

"We only have a few moments to decide but it's really up to you Weasley. Do you trust Ms. Granger to make this shield? If it fails while you are still under the barrier you may be crushed when the alarm goes off. Do you understand?" he asked forcefully.

Hermione felt her breath hitch as Ron turned again to her with a slight smile on his face this time. Her look must have gotten through.

"I trust her completely sir. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that she can do it." he answered still looking at her.

If it wasn't for the previous sexist remark from the Head Auror about girlfriends being here and all, as well as the seriousness of the situation, she would have run forward and thrown herself at him in a blubbering mess. As it was, she again tried her best to return his smile with all the meaning she wanted to share with him.

Roberts and the Minister soon shook his hand with words of encouragement and luck then moved away back to base. Harry mumbled out something under his breath before giving him a quick hug and a pat on his back before turning away. The spell breakers moved discretely away and she was left alone with him for a few moments.

Her nerves and apprehension returned as she felt the tears welling behind her eyes. She shook her head resolutely and stepped towards him. She had come to tell him something and by God she was not going to waste this precious moment. Surprisingly Ron spoke first.

"I...I'm not too sure why you came here Hermione but I'm so glad that you did. I have to do this on my own but...but I was always thinking of you. Always. No matter where you were...with me or not..."

She couldn't let this misunderstanding continue any longer. She boldly stepped close to him and took hold of his large hands in hers and looked up at him.

"Ron there isn't much time so please listen to me. I utterly and completely messed up with that letter and with you in Australia. I know now that I can never ever have any sort of life without you in it. You and me together. That's all I ever wanted and I still want it. I love you with all my heart but I just got... confused by something which I have to tell you when you get back because Ronald Weasley you ARE coming back to me. I don't care what you have to do when you leave here, you have to stay safe until Harry comes to get you. Just know I will be waiting and we can be together again for as long as you will have me...please." she drew his hands up to her lips and kissed them softly as she begged with her watery eyes.

Ron pulled her into a hug as he kissed her forehead gently. He pulled away with a smile.

"Well since you asked so nicely let's get this over with so I can get my sorry arse back here as soon as possible. Tell Harry I'll be waiting." he grinned before giving her hands a squeeze then letting them go. He stepped back with a nod.

She drew her wand, closed her eyes in concentration and cast the penetration shield around him in a few seconds. As the other spell breakers moved to surround him she took a last look at him.

"I love you Ron Weasley and I want you back with me." she shouted without a care.

He grinned again as he stretched his limbs in preparation.

"I love you too and I can't wait to get back." he winked at her.

As soon as the other spells were cast he took a deep breath and was off running towards the mansion. They waited to check that all the spells had worked as planned before running back to the base tent to track his progress.

**o0o**

**AN: **_The next chapter will be up sooner than later as I had to split this one in two. Thanks again for all your continued support._


	9. Chapter 9: Detonation & Discovery

**AN: **_Sorry for the slight delay as I decided to rewrite this chapter to reflect two separate points of observation. I think it made the story flow better and added to the suspense. I hope you think so too._

**Chapter 9 - Detonation & Discovery**

As Ron made his way steadily over the rough terrain, he struggled to keep his focus on the mission in front of him. In fact he had to resist the strongest urge to break his stride and just jump up and down in joy. _She had come to see him!_ _She still loved him and wanted him!_ _His life had meaning again!_

He was determined to get rid of those bombs but had all but resigned himself to his fate after. But now everything had changed. He had the most beautiful girl in the world waiting for him and he would move heaven and earth to remain alive and return to her just as she had asked...no...demanded. Hell he could never resist her wishes and now was not the time to start. She had obviously come to terms with whatever it was to that made her go mental on him and she had promised to tell him soon but he honestly didn't care two hoots about it. Once she wanted him, there was nothing she could say that would deter him away from her...

With his mind wandering around, he barely missed a large rut in front of him and staggered for a few seconds before gaining his stride again. _Merlin! Keep your fucking head on Weasley if you want to remain alive in the next few minutes. People are depending on you. She is depending on you...so focus!_

Before setting out Ron had already determined to reduce his speed slightly in order to keep his strength over the whole length of the run. With his shield offering a more flexible route he also decided to sacrifice going for the shortest route in favour of the best terrain to get there. It would be a bit longer but gave him the best chance of making it in the least amount of time. Halfway to the looming mansion he quickly spotted a low lying swampy area ahead and reluctantly swung around to his left to run around the impassable ground. He swore to himself as he calculated an additional couple hundred yards for him to cover. It would get him closer to the western part of the house but his time would suffer.

As he rounded the soft area and headed for the house he checked his watch. _Shite!_ he had already used up close to six minutes with over four hundred yards still to go. He resisted the urge to panic as he started to feel the inevitable burn in his lungs and in his legs. He desperately tried to maintain his stride and his concentration over the last straight run leading up to the nearest window of the building. As he narrowed the distance he suddenly felt a slight weight against him as the shield started to lose some of its protection. His vest was now completely drenched with sweat dripping from his hair over his shoulders as the stone walls of the house came clearer into view. _Push it Weasley_! _You can do this! _He was now running on pure adrenalin.

Ron clattered into the walls gasping for air as he felt the shield around him crack. The weight of the air around him became almost stifling as he reeled to the ground and vomited violently. He was now having trouble simply breathing and his head became foggy just like his vision. With his last ounce of strength he pulled himself up to the nearest window ledge and uttered the opening spell with his eyes closed to keep himself from falling over. As the shield around him disintegrated he pushed against the window and fell inside the room. Ron knew he was on the verge of passing out but he had made it! He was inside! It had taken him just over eight minutes but it felt like a lifetime. Struggling to keep the darkness away he pulled himself fully behind a large couch which was sitting near the window. He reach blindly for the invisibility cloak in his bag but his body finally shut down and he fell into blackness.

o0o

Inside the small monitoring tent, Hermione had her hands firmly around Harry's arm as she watched the small bright red dot move over the large map which was hovering above a bare desk at the back of the tent. She sensed that Harry was just as tense as her but she couldn't take her eyes off the red marker to say anything to him.

"OK he's moving at a good clip. Everything looks good so far." she heard the Auror at the desk report on Ron's progress. Her hands still held Harry in a tight grip but he didn't seem to care as he was watching the map intently also. Her shield was holding up and Ron was making good time but her heart was beating loudly in her chest and her breathing was almost non-existent.

"Five minutes and still holding...wait. He has veered off course a bit. Probably a bad area he has to avoid. Damn! That is going to cost him a few yards extra." the report made everyone shuffle closer to the map as Hermione suddenly felt a pain strike at her chest.

"Right. He's back on course approaching the western side of the main building. Coming up on eight minutes. The shield is starting to lose some strength but he's almost there. Come on Weasley!" the tracking Auror seemed to get carried away a bit but no one commented on it.

"He's reached the perimeter but he's not moving well. Over eight minutes and the shield is disintegrating. He has to get inside now!" he cried out as Hermione felt a scream coming out of her throat.

"He made it! He's inside! Yes! He made it!" there was a loud hoop and shouts inside the tent from everyone. Hermione gave a small sob as she fell against Harry. This was going to kill her! She briefly thought about leaving the tent but her eyes were once again drawn to the red dot which was now positioned on a schematic plan of the inside of the house.

"We can't get inside but thank God we were able to map the layout with our magic." Harry informed her quietly at her side.

The tent fell silent as it soon became obvious that there was a problem. The bright red marker had not moved since entering the house.

"What's the matter Andrews. Why is he not moving? Are you sure the tracking device is working properly?" Roberts enquired loudly.

"Yes. Everything checks out sir. It's Weasley. Something's wrong with him. He's not moving." the Auror replied quickly. As Hermione felt her stomach lurch, Harry suddenly moved forward pulling her along to the front.

"Do you think he's hurt? Maybe he's just resting to catch his breath. Right Hermione?" Harry tugged at her hand.

Hermione was startled by Harry's question to her. She had been so caught up in her worry that her analytical mind had shut off completely. As she looked into his worried eyes she realised she had to keep her head on...for Harry and for Ron.

"It could be that he passed out from the exertion and the added air pressure but since we can't see who else is in the room, we can't really tell if...if someone saw him." she stuttered out the last part in pain. Harry pulled away completely from her now.

"Can we send another person the same way to help him? We have to do something!" he shouted. Roberts immediately stopped him.

"There's no one else who could make that run Potter. Weasley was our best and he barely made it through. I am not sending anyone else in to their sure death. We will just have to..."

"He's moving. He's up. Oh thank God!" Hermione cried out as she spotted a slight movement on the map. Everyone crowded around the desk as she again grabbed on to Harry.

o0o

Ron jumped awake with a loud groan staring at the back of a lush couch. _Where the hell was he!_ Well he was on the floor behind a piece of furniture and his head hurt like shit. As he looked around he suddenly remembered his mission and he immediately dropped to the floor again in fright. Glancing at his watch he realized that he must have been out for ten minutes. _Shit! He has wasted ten minutes of good time!_ Trying to clear his throbbing head he reached into his bag for Harry's cloak which he kept in his hand as he looked over the top of the couch.

He was in a small room surrounded by glass cases placed against the walls on either side of the room. They seemed to contain various strange and unfamiliar pieces of paraphernalia that he quickly skimmed over as he settled on the door ahead of him. Moving forward as quietly as possible he put his ears to the old wood listening for any sounds on the other side. He was just about to open the door when his eye caught one of the glass cases to his right. He moved across the room to examine the case in detail and as he leaned forward to confirm his find the sound of voices just outside the door made him stop. _Someone was coming in the room! _He dropped to the ground wrapping the cloak around him just as the door swung open and two death eaters entered loudly.

"Why are we still making our rounds when no one can possible get through the protection spells anyway? It just a fucking waste of time." he heard the first one speak.

"Stop your bloody complaining. You know this will be the last night so shut it." was the quick reply.

"Do we have to move all the stuff from this room you think?"

"No thank goodness. After we move the bombs tonight everything here will be gone along with the house. Nice and clean. Sanderson will be here soon so let's get going."

After the door was shut Ron stayed quiet in place for a few minutes running through what he had just heard.

_Shit! Shit! They were going to move the bombs! He had no time to linger here. And what the hell was that about the house being gone? Think Ron think!...Fuck! They're going to destroy the house with everything in it! Fuck! Fuck! Get a move on Weasley!_

With a quick glance outside the door, Ron slipped on the cloak and moved down the western corridor as quickly as he could considering he was moving in a crouched position. He cursed his height and the size of the cloak around him for his slow progress. Moving from memory of the plan layout drilled into him, he finally reached the small room at the extreme western end of the house before dropping to his knees. The room was there but as expected two death eaters stood guard.

It seemed that all the occupants of the house felt overwhelmingly sure that the protective spells around the building were impenetrable because the two dumb guards were laughing and talking to each other with no mind on the corridor in front of them and with no wands held in either's hand. Well who could blame them...they could never cater for the brilliant mind that belonged to one Hermione Granger.

Edging slowly forward until he was in position, he quickly pointed his wand and stunned the two guards in rapid succession watching them fall with a small clatter to the floor. Still wearing the cloak he muttered the opening spell and pushed the door open. He afforded himself a small grin. Brilliant! This was easier than...

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

The loud ringing noise echoed through the house making him jump. The cloak around him shimmered for a second and then became distinctly visible. The alarm had been triggered when the door opened and somehow his cloak had lost its magic temporarily, no doubt due to one of Sanderson's tricks.

_"Damn! Fuck! So much for surprise!_

Ron instantly ran through all the remaining possibilities before quickly coming to his decision.He pulled the explosive device from his bag, set the timer for ten seconds and threw it into the room without even entering. He had to rely on the informants word that the bombs were indeed in the room and that they had not been removed since. Stuffing the cloak back into his bag he took off in a sprint back down the corridor heading for a small storage room he had passed earlier shut with a solid steel door.

Yanking the steel dooropen he threw himself inside and slammed the door shut just as the explosion rocked the building. He staggered and fell to the ground his ears ringing then going deaf. A bright light flashed outside the closed door and in an instant a series of terrifying and vile images swarmed into his head. A mixture of horrifying torture and death, men women and children screaming as flesh rotted off their bodies, beings coming from the sky and from beneath the ground so terrifying that he had to fight the urge to scream in fear. He deliberately banged his head repeatedly on the floor to clear his head and fought against the images with one of his own. One he had memorized from a morning not so long ago.

_Hermione! She was lying against his side, her head snuggled into his shoulder one hand over his stomach and one leg thrown over his. He could feel all of her against him. The feel of her hair falling lightly against his shoulder and neck, her light breathing against his skin, the soft feel of her breasts against his side, the smooth feel of her stomach, the arousing tickle of her pubic hair against his bare hip, her inner thigh against his leg and her cold small toes rubbing against the fine hair on his shin. Hermione! She still loved him and was waiting for him!_

The sound of the real world came back to him in a rush and he gulped a breath of air greedily in. Blood ran over his left eye and down the side of his face onto the floor below. He shivered alone in the small room. Merlin's Bullocks! If those bombs were fully armed and ready he would never have been able to keep his mind sane and survive. He had barely made it back as it was...she had pulled him back...Hermione. He had to get back to her! Rising slowly and testing his feet he pushed open the door and stepped out.

_He had to get back to that room first!_

o0o

"Why is he staying so long in that room? He has to get going soon." the tracking Auror observed with a twinge of impatience.

"Easy Andrews. Don't forget we don't know what condition he's in and we also can't tell what else is going on around him." the Head Auror pointed out soberly.

At these words Hermione fell into her worry mode again. She just couldn't help herself. She felt so helpless just standing here watching a red dot move across a map. She should be with him! Then she would know what condition he was really in and she could help him. Her frustration must have shown as Harry patted her hand gently.

"Don't worry Hermione. He's fine. He can do this." he said quietly before turning to the map again.

"Finally! He's moving towards the target room. He's moving slowly but steady." the report was relayed as Roberts nodded next to Harry.

Everyone watched as Ron approached the room where the bombs were being held. The red marker stopped for a few seconds and then proceeded to the room. Everything seemed to be going as planned and Roberts gave the order to the spell breakers and all Aurors to get in their respective position. The healers in the other small tent were put on alert. Harry pulled away slowly from her with a knowing glance. She tugged back on his hand.

"Bring him back for me Harry." she said with enough force to cause Harry to smile.

"Sure thing. I'm on it." he grinned...Then all hell broke loose as the alarm went off around the small tent.

"What the fuck just happened!" Roberts bellowed.

"I don't know! The room must have been jinxed! Shit!" came the frantic reply. "Weasley is now moving away from the room. He just ran into a store room down the corridor! He never entered the bomb room. I don't know..."

The ground shook violently as the sound of an explosion boomed from the house. They all ran to the front of the tent and observed the western side of the building covered in fire and smoke. Harry was now shouting above the noise.

"Is Ron OK? Is he moving? Andrews answer me!" All eyes switched to the hovering map.

"He's down. Wait! he's moving again. He's still alive!" the Auror shouted out with a pump of his hand.

Hermione had stood rooted to the ground when the alarm had gone off, her eyes fixed on the red marker. Even when the explosion sounded, she stared at the map as tears ran down her face. She could not stay here and do nothing! She turned to Harry who was still shouting.

"How much bloody time do we need to get this blasted barrier down now?" he asked loudly.

"It's a lot weaker than before but we can break it now. Give us ten minutes and we can all apparate inside." cried one of the spell breakers as he rushed out of the tent. Harry paced in front of her.

"Right ten minutes. All Ron has to do is stay put and hold out for ten minutes and we can go get him." he muttered out loudly again.

"God damn Weasley! Where the fuck are you going!" the Auror in front of the map suddenly cried out. "I don't fucking believe this. He's heading back into the room he started in! He'll never last there. The death eaters will be all over him."

Hermione suddenly grabbed Harry by the arm and pulled him out of the tent. She took a few deep breaths wiping the tears from her face. Her eyes were now lit with a fiery determination.

"Let's go Harry. We are going to get him now. I'm not waiting any longer." she informed him with a steely voice.

"Hermione how are we..." Harry started.

"We are going to apparate inside. The same way I did with Ron. I make a modified penetrating shield around us and we apparate in. I couldn't do it before when the barrier was too strong but I know I can do it now. I have to." she informed him quickly.

Harry hesitated for just a second. He had given up on ever doubting his best friend a long time ago and now was not the time to start.

"What are we waiting for. Let's do it." he said simply.

Hermione linked her arm with his and raised her wand. She whispered a complicated spell and soon a shimmering blue shield was formed around them. She then closed her eyes and seemed to calm herself before pulling him closer. He heard her whisper Ron's name and the next instant Harry found himself pulled slowly along into a swirling void his stomach churning in all directions.

o0o

They landed in a room surrounded by glass cases falling heavily onto the floor. Harry reacted almost instantly putting up a shield around them as spells flew at them from the door. As she cleared her head he pulled on her arm.

"See about Ron. I'll deal with these assholes. Go!" he said calmly as he fired off multiple stunning spells at the death eaters gathered at the open doorway. She barely registered in her head how good Harry really was at his job.

Hermione looked around frantically and soon spotted Ron behind a fallen case. He was barely moving and as she moved towards him his protective shield flicked and went out around him as he rolled over on his back. She stumbled over the case and gasped as she saw him fully.

"Ron! Dear God! Ron!" she cried out as she dropped on her knees before him. He was clutching his bag close to his stomach and looked like death. There was blood everywhere. On his face and down the left side of his body. His vest was almost stripped clean off and there were deep bruises all over him. He had taken a severe beating from various spells thrown at him as he defended from behind the case. He suddenly coughed and jerked awake.

"Ron! It's me I'm here. Everything is going to be all right. Harry is here too." she wept out as she tried to cradle his head on her lap brushing his bloodied hair off his forehead. His eyes found hers and he grabbed her robes in earnest.

"Hermione...you have to...you have to go now...go!" he managed to sputter out.

"We're not going anywhere without you." she continued to cry. "Just hold on Ron. They will be here soon and then we can go." he pulled at her robes again and brought her down closer.

"No listen!...the whole building...is rigged to blow anytime. You have to leave now!" he coughed again as he fell back on her lap.

As she registered his words, the sound of combat suddenly ceased and she turned to Harry. The death eaters had withdrawn from the battle and disappeared from the doorway.

"What the hell?..." Harry registered his surprise looking at her. Hermione jumped into action immediately.

"Harry get over here now! We have to leave. The building is going to be blown! Hurry!" she shouted from her crouched position still holding Ron in her lap. Harry rushed over and dropped on the other side.

"God Hermione. He looks..." he started.

"Harry just hold on to me. We're leaving the same way we came." she interrupted him as she raised her wand and muttered the complicated spell.

The three bodies landed with a thud outside the Healer's tent and they were soon surrounded by the healers and various Aurors. As Hermione bent to examine Ron, a large explosion again shook the ground and they witnessed the entire mansion crumble into the ground with a loud roar, dust spilling into the air over the cliff.

Harry jumped on his feet and made to move away before stopping to rest a hand on her shoulder.

"Take care of him. I have to brief Roberts and make sure no one else went in. I'll be back as soon as I can." he hurried out before sprinting over to the other tent.

The Healers were now trying to get Ron inside the tent to treat him but he was fighting them off surprisingly. Hermione held one of his hands and tried to calm him down.

"Ron please. It's all right I'm still here. The healers just want to see about you...please it's going to be ok." she pleaded as she moved closer to him.

He turned to her and grimacing in pain but held on to her hand tightly.

"Hermione...I had to...I went back..." he broke off with a cough.

"Ron please don't talk. You have to let them see about you...please" she again pleaded in a soothing voice as she rubbed his hand. He shook his head resolutely pulling his hands away before reaching into the bag that he still clutched to his stomach.

"I...I found it...it was in there...Hermione." he stammered out as he placed something into her hand before the healers pulled him away from her and took him inside in a mad rush.

Hermione looked down at the object in her hand and gasped loudly in shock, her tears for him spilling onto her fingers. She recognized the object immediately. Ten and three quarter inch Vinewood with the unmistakeable vine pattern along its length.

Hermione was now holding her long lost wand in her hand...

**o0o**


End file.
